King Cricket

January 14, 2009 Regulars

Cat renounces indifference to cricket

< 1 minute readLemon Bella writes: StraussCat has been waiting for another chance to show how much he doesn’t care about English cricket. KP provided him with the perfect opportunity. This is StraussCat when he first heard the news that Pietersen had resigned. When I told him that the only viable candidate was

January 13, 2009 Australia

Matthew Hayden’s gone

2 minute read“Matthew Hayden’s gone” was our favourite piece of commentary as well as being our way of announcing his retirement. We’re usually quite generous with our retirement posts. Not today. Matthew Hayden was a batsman in the right place at the right time. He was also an arrogant turd. Essentially though,

January 12, 2009 Australia

What did David Warner do to his room in Brisbane?

< 1 minute readIf you don’t know David Warner, he made his debut for Australia this week and hefted six sixes in hitting the second-fastest Twenty20 international fifty. He ended up with 89 off 43 balls. After the game, a reporter asked him if he felt pigeon-holed as a Twenty20 player? “In a

January 11, 2009 England

Was Kevin Pietersen wrong?

2 minute readIt may surprise you to learn that Kevin Pietersen is not actually evil. He may even want England to win some matches. People can at times forget that real life isn’t actually a drama scripted by halfwits. The characters involved aren’t ‘good’ or ‘evil’. Kevin Pietersen polarises people, or at

January 10, 2009 England

Every person involved with England cricket is an eight-year-old child‏

< 1 minute readTurncoat players; fringe squad members ‘leaking’ information; nameless ECB officials also leaking information and accusing players of having oversized egos; not to mention a media solely interested in column inches, badgering anyone and everyone for more information. Fucking stop it. Belt up. Who cares who says and thinks what about

January 9, 2009 Australia

Matthew Hayden – sport’s greatest orator

< 1 minute readNever mind cricket. Matthew Hayden’s the greatest speaker in sport, full stop. “Ultimately it will be my call to look at the bloke that talks to yourself every day in the mirror and say ‘mate it is time to go’ or ‘saddle up, pull your socks up and get on

January 8, 2009 Australia

Matthew Hayden, please don’t retire

< 1 minute readThere are those of you who may think we’d be pleased to see Matthew Hayden retire. Nothing could be further from the truth. For one thing, it’s fun to watch his futile attempts to scrabble runs, but more importantly, we’d hate to see the cricket world lose one if its

January 8, 2009 England

Andrew Strauss, England captain

< 1 minute readThroughout history, the British have had a fail-safe method for dealing with times of crisis. They find the most sensible person among their number and they tell them that they’re in charge. A new era has dawned. An era of stoicism. An era of doing the decent thing. An era

January 7, 2009 England

Kevin Pietersen’s resignation

< 1 minute readKevin Pietersen did not resign this morning. He wants to be very clear on that, okay? He did NOT resign this morning. He resigned this afternoon. From his resignation statement: “Contrary to media speculation today, I wish to make it very clear that I did not resign as captain of

January 7, 2009 England

Kevin Pietersen and Peter Moores resign

< 1 minute readMaybe we don’t need Pakistan cricket after all. We’ve got England for back-stabbing and intrigue now. Officially, Kevin Pietersen and Peter Moores both resigned. Unofficially, well, does it matter what really happened, does it? Those halcyon days of long-term planning under Duncan Fletcher seem longer ago and more valuable by