We’ve been meaning to say this since the middle of the last Test, but having just seen “Steven Finn can provide England with the answer to Chanderpaul problem | Mike Selvey” on our home page, we’ve realised we’ve probably missed our window.
Unfazed, we’re going to say our bit anyway. We’ll read Selvey’s piece in a minute and gauge the exact degree of pointlessness of this post.
Basically, our point boils down to the following. England’s method of bowling ‘dry’ and waiting for mistakes is all well and good against human batsmen who actually make mistakes, but it’s largely pointless against Shivnarine Chanderpaul. They need a bowler with a bit of something extra who might actually be able to make life uncomfortable for him and Steven Finn might be that man.
That’s it really. Not particularly interesting and not particularly insightful. We’re off to Trent Bridge tomorrow, so we’re kind of slacking off in anticipation. Blame that.
Is everyone sick of reading about how Steven Finn could be McGrath-esque?
“McGrath is someone I’ve always idolised.” – Steven Finn
Thanks Steve. Thanks a stack.
It’s just an off the cuff remark to you, isn’t it? You don’t seem to realise the consequences of what you’ve just said. You don’t have to sit through the commentary when you’re out on the field of play, do you?
You’re lucky, Steve. You don’t have to put up with the lazy shit that drips from the mouths of commentators every time they see a bowler who’s over six foot three. (Yes, we know that sounds disgusting.)
If there’s one thing we like, it’s people who fall over a lot. With that in mind, we’re calling for Steven Finn to be inked into the England Test team for the forseeable future.
We already knew that Finn was an accurate bowler from what we saw in Bangladesh, but we only suspected that he could be fast. He topped 90mph once at Lord’s and given a year or so, injuries permitting, he should be pretty fearsome.
Steven Finn tells people that he’s 6ft7in, even though he’s actually 6ft8in, because “it’s embarrassing”. You’ve got to like someone who thinks an inch makes all the difference when you’re talking about those sorts of measurements.
- “No officer, I wasn’t doing 155mph in a built-up area, I was doing 154.”
- “No, I didn’t eat 17 bags of crisps in a row. I ate 16.”
- “No, your Honour, I didn’t brutally murder 26 prostitutes, it was 25.”
Not that we’d like the people who might have said the above. That’s slightly different. Something to do with innocence.
Earlier this week, we wrote about England’s back-up bowlers for The Wisden Cricketer, saying they were all a bit samey. The one guy we didn’t mention was our former One To Watch, Steven Finn.
Finn actually got picked to make his Test debut against Bangladesh and it’s the fact that he’s not an 85mph swing bowler and lower-order batsman that got him the nod. He went for a few runs early on, but we tend to ignore a player’s first few Tests when sizing them up. Debutants are racked with nerves and rarely give a good account of themselves.
Far better to look at what he offers that others can’t. For a start, Finn’s six foot seven. That’s always handy. As regards his bowling speed, he was bowling 87mph in his first over. That bodes well.
87mph is pretty much par for the course for England pace bowlers, but if Finn gets up to that speed in his first over, you can guarantee he can top 90mph. England really need that.
The one downside is that his Test selection is bad news for the National Cricket Academy at Loughborough. Who’s going to trim the top of that hedge now?
Steven Finn bowled Rob Key for one yesterday. We said that Steven Finn was one to watch this season. How much more right could we be?
The answer, of course, is none. None more right.
Rob’s been recovering from a virus. This is the only time he is at all vulnerable.
James Harris is the cool England Under-19 opening bowler at the minute, on account of making a great start to his first-class career at the age of just 17. But here at King Cricket, we’re anything but cool, so we’re going for the other England Under-19 opening bowler, Steven Finn.
Steven Finn’s only played four first-class matches so far, but he’s taken 13 wickets at a currently meaningless 22.46. He’s also 6ft 8in, so he can play that unbeatable game where you hold something just out of a short person’s reach, watching them hop up and down until they get so exasperated they kick you in the nuts.
Watch these players in 2008.