The 2019 Ridiculous Ashes was a great Ridiculous Ashes, the 2019 Ridiculous Ashes was a ridiculous Ridiculous Ashes

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Steve Smith (via ECB YouTube)

The Ridiculous Ashes has come to an end. There is a victor.

Nonsense talismans, War of the Worlds, side-mounted compound eyes – you can read the fifth Test report written by ourself and Dan Liebke here.

You can also find all five Ridiculous Ashes reports on this page if you’re really in the mood for dicking about and not doing any work today.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. I’m sorry about veering off-track from the cricketing, but I recently came across something in my beautiful country that would seem to be in line with the whole “ridiculous” theme:

    I do hope the subjects enjoy.

    1. Unfortunately, they had one in Goa 2 or so months ago, so this was not quite the pioneer. Not that I want to hear about a 3rd such competion 😀

  2. Not so much ridiculous, but it’s a weird one that in a bowler – dominated phase of Test cricket, Pat Cummins is the world’s no. 1. Perhaps saying, that if a relatively mediocre bowler keeps coming at you, batsmen these days don’t have a plan B.

  3. Great series, that Ridiculous Ashes thing. Best thing since the bestial roars of Laurence Elderbrook last graced these virtual pages.

  4. I really liked it but as a format change, shouldn’t the Ridiculous Ashes be decided on a Tests won basis, rather than on total points scored? We don’t calculate the winner of the Actual Ashes by totting up the runs and wickets from all five matches. Might keep things more tense if one side has some narrow wins and the other has some big wins early in the series.

    1. We did think of that but then we didn’t do it. We can’t say why. (But only because we can’t remember.)

    1. I put it into and the suggestion was legionnaire, legionary: a soldier who is a member of a legion (especially the French Foreign Legion)

      The previous Steve Smith picture I put in was classified as “Queen mother”.

      The first photo of Ben Stokes I tried got “designated hitter” which was quite impressive; other attempts at classifying Stokes varied from the high (“astronaut/cosmonaut”) to the low (“rape suspect”). Varied a lot depending on facial hair and extent of scowl.

  5. However, my chum who has, err, transgressed in the past, came out as a Zen Buddhist and in another photo in which I am holding a shotgun (clay pigeon shooting, I hasten to add) I was revealed to be an archbishop in western. Christianity. Marvelous.

    1. That’s excellent news, we must count our blessings. Becoming an archbishop is worth purchasing a shotgun for, though perhaps not if it requires giving up on being an astronaut.

      At some point I should try putting an entire England team photo through the judgment of our artifically intelligent superiors.

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