Good day. I am Count Cricket. My parole officer told me it would aid my rehabilitation to find some form of employment and King Cricket has offered to pay me £2.70 to cover the county cricket season for his “website”. I assume he needs to subcontract because he is too busy telling people what classification of hill climb he’s been up on his bicycle this week, like the world’s most boring man (which is precisely what he is).
This week I went to watch Warwickshire against Durham. I took a flask of brandy with me and the experience was not unpleasant. A chap I met in the toilets told me that Ian Ronald Bell was likely to score runs, so I popped down to the local bookmakers and laid a wager on his being top scorer. Glory be, he was. Ian Ronald Bell made 120 when all other batsmen struggled and it surely can’t be long before this young man plays cricket for the United Kingdom.
Another chap I met in the toilets said that Warwickshire would remain at the top of the table. He said that a bowler named Keith Hubert Douglas Barker had played a larger part in the victory than Ian Ronald Bell as he had taken 10 wickets. However, I had laid no wager on this and so cared not a jot. Nottinghamshire are second, having beaten Lancashire, who cannot bat.
Until next time,