Michael Vaughan wants South Africans DEAD
There’s a beautifully hazy piece in The Independent today on Michael Vaughan’s comments about South African born cricketers representing England.
Essentially, his thoughts about how some South African players come to England for money have been presented as if he’s saying that Kevin Pietersen should be dropped because he was born in South Africa.
Taking the headline from Vaughan’s thoughts about Kevin Pietersen’s poor form, “Vaughan calls for Pietersen to be dropped from side,” the opening line then sums up Vaughan’s comments about something completely different and makes his view slightly more extreme to boot: “Michael Vaughan wants South Africa-born cricketers to be disallowed from playing for England.”
As far as we can tell, Vaughan said that if any South African born batsman were to be dropped, it would be Kevin Pietersen on current form. He also said that he had ‘a bit of a problem’ with some (not all) South African born cricketers playing for England, saying that ideally all England players would be as English as possible, while admitting that will never happen.
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We are still a bit mental about slow cookers
But a non-sensational headline, based on what Vaughn actually said, won’t sell newspapers or get page views.
Sensationalist headlines are for losers…
My favourite bit of the piece was Botham’s furious dismissal of Europe. Tip top xenophobia
We spotted that. That’s a good example for all up-and-coming xenophobes.
Be as dismissive as possible and just sweep everyone aside in a casual, offhand manner.
KING CRICKET CALLS FOR KEVIN PIETERSEN TO BE ELECTROCUTED TO DEATH
In a shock development today, a leading figure from the world of royal-themed-cricket-based-websites called for the execution by electric chair of South-African-themed cricketer Kevin Pietersen. From his palace in cyberspace King Cricket wrote “…if any South African born batsman were to be dropped, it would be Kevin Pietersen on current”.
UPDATE – NOW IT’S DECAPITATION
In attempting to clarify his remarks, King Cricket said “lose” and “head” in the same sentence.
Top stuff Bert, and very funny indeed.
Decapitation of Michael Vaughan , now that’s a headline I could happily read.
And now cheered up immensely I will go forth to buy some pomegranates.
Botham is like that offensive old man in SitComs, whose racism is played for laughs.
The stuff he says about how in an ideal world he’d like to see 11 complete englishmen in the side makes me feel very uncomfortable in its suggestion that there might be shades of grey as to what is or isn’t a “complete Englishman” when, for qualification purposes,
there aren’t – either you meet the criteria or you don’t. I thought we’d left behind the days when the presence of legitimately English-qualified players was questioned by others who didn’t think they seemed English enough.
Here’s a sensationalist headline.
‘Kiwi fans want Mitchell Johnson dead.’
But it’s true.
IT’S WAR!! EUGENICIST VAUGHAN INVADES POLAND!!!
Does that advert up there for Kitbag.com featuring Vaughan and Pietersen look more tense to anyone this morning? Colly looks distinctly peturbed.
I have a very simple test – Accent. Accent defines someone in a way that’s much more ‘real’ than place of birth or even (god forbid) skin colour in this country.
If a saffer went to the trouble of changing their accent to the point they could either be mistaken for a cockerney, scouser, posh twit (or whatever), or, and the test is less stringent when it comes to the north, could understand a word Paul Collingwood said then I think they should be considered Englishmen for the purposes of cricket.
As an immigrant here myself I am fascinated by the whole accent thing – I’ve argued long into the drunken night with English friends of Indian descent that they are indeed English (rather than that wishy washy ‘British’) if they sound like it.
Of course if the likes of Rob Key were actually good enough this conversation would be academic.