Wanting Shane Watson to reach his hundred

Shane Watson sheds some tears, like usualHow can we possibly have found ourself wanting Shane Watson to get a hundred. He was on 92 and Australia needed eight to win the Champions’ Trophy. Why on earth did we want him to reach three figures?

Seriously, why? This isn’t rhetoric. We actually want an explanation. He’s ridiculously gym-bodied, blonde and always looks like he’s about to cry. We’re not massively keen on any of those qualities. Put them on an Australian cricketer (normal Australians are quite likeable) and that should be a Michelin-starred recipe for loathing a man.

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11 Appeals

  1. I got home late last night, switched on the TV and discovered that the Aussies needed eight runs to win and Watson was on 92.

    The first ball I saw he took a single and the commentators said “that’s it then, he probably won’t get his hundred”. Manifestly piffle, I thought.

    I witnessed the four balls that followed, during which of course he did get his hundred.

    All that as left in the game at that point was the question of whether or not Watson would get to his ton.

    And yes, I also wanted him to achieve the landmark.

    I have always been able to mitigate my loathing for Shane Watson somewhat by remembering the time that Goughie spooked him at The Riverside.

  2. Two centuries in 2 matches is some show. And he’s done it before in one day cricket. Why can’t the big fool perform at test level?

  3. You sentimental lightweights! You need to harden your hearts against them. Oh sure, it’s only an ODI century in a meaningless tournament final. It doesn’t affect England, oh no. Except that it does. They feed on it, these Aussies. Watson will start to believe in himself now. He’ll think he is a good player, and then he will become one. By the next Ashes, he’ll be opening the batting regularly in tests, averaging 65 in the last twelve months, form of his life, etc, and he’ll put us to the sword.

    Failure is the only lesson they understand. If you don’t watch it, Ged, KC, he’ll become the next Hayden. And you will have helped create him.

    To quote Edmund Burke’s original phrase – All that is necessary for the triumph of Australia is that good men do nothing to ridicule them when they are in a bit of a bad run of form.”

  4. Have to say I was on twitter at the time and the number of tweets imploring Jeetan to bowl a wide with that last ball…..

    Still – they were made to wear those ridiculous jackets to that was some consolation

  5. Those jackets … hahaha. That made up for any pain. And i felt pain with Watson doing well – not joy.

    I hate Watson’s late cut – he plays it like it is a shot of ‘artistry’ when in fact he looks like a cardboard box doing yoga – skewers it down to third man with an ugly bottom hand.

  6. Right on, Bert.
    We all signed on for loathing the aussies when we started. No-one said it would be easy. Sort it out.

  7. Right on, Bert.
    We all signed on for loathing the aussies at the start. No-one said it would be easy. Sort it out.

  8. A bowler who I used to play alongside once bowled a wide (in the direction of a wide-ish fine leg, if I recall correctly) to prevent a particularly nasty batsman scoring the winning runs for his team and completing a very undeserved half century in the process. Shame not to see village practises extrapolated to the international arena.

    Wait. Can you even have a wide fine leg? Does that make him just a leg? An unfine leg? If you bring him finer again is he a refined leg? So many pointless questions..

  9. Makes him a square leg. Which isn’t funny, just true.

  10. Probably a backwards square leg initially (not intimating anything about said fielder’s heritage or mental capacity)

  11. I don’t care what he did for us, he’s still “Twatto” to me.

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