Australia stick to their plans against Amla and Kallis

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The plan was to target Jacques Kallis with lots of short stuff. Kallis has now faced lots and lots and lots of short stuff. Meanwhile, we dread to think how much verbal aggression Hashim Amla’s had to counter over the course of his 207-ball unbeaten innings.

We imagine that verbal aggression was pretty intense for the first few overs, but it probably dropped off a bit after four or five hours. Even the Aussies must have exhausted their rich vocabularies of abuse by that point.


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  1. Peter Siddle has become a vegetarian, apparently, which some of the Aussie commentators thinks explains a lot about dismal performance.

    I’m sure there is impeccable logic there, but I need KC or perhaps one of the other contributors around here, more intelligent/enlightened than I, to set out that logic for me.

    Please take it step by step, I’m a bit slow on a Friday.

    1. 1. Peter Siddle look at cow.
      2. Cow look at Peter Siddle.
      3. Cow Peter Siddle make connection.
      4. Peter Siddle decide no eat cow.
      5. Peter Siddle feel warm inside.
      6. Peter Siddle want bowl.
      7. Peter Siddle look at Kallis.
      8. Kallis look like cow.
      9. Peter Siddle decide not out Kallis.
      10. Peter Siddle terrible bowl.

    2. Straightforward, Ged.

      1. Siddle becomes a vegetarian, presumably to impress a girl, as there is no other conceivable reason.

      2. He stops eating burgers and frequenting burger bars, prefering instead to be seen at The Mental Lentil, Melbourne’s most exclusive veggie eaterie (Motto: Have a sit down, you look exhausted).

      3. Top international haut cuisine provider McDonalds withdraws its lucrative offer of post-career sponsorship, an offer that had been conditional on Siddle becoming the most successful bowler in Australian cricket history (after the success of using Shane Warne’s burger-stuffed face on sight screens at test matches).

      4. Siddle now no longer has any reason to become the most successful bowler in Australian cricket history.

      5. He reverts to bowling Tommy Trundlers like the rest of his teammates, figuring that as they’re going down the pan anyway, why put the effort in.

    3. Like any good herbivore, he now prefers the lush green grass of the outfield to the parched, barren soil of the wicket. Less bowling means more grazing.

    4. Ahhhh…



      Almost there, but I still can’t quite get my head around it.

      Thanks for trying, fellas. You’re the best pals in the whole wide world.

      Great steak with Daisy last night btw – I really fancy bowing a few super-fast overs at some poor unsuspecting batsman this morning.

      In other news, the Saffers are trying to let the beleaguered veggies/Aussies off the hook by playing 10 against 11 from now on and skipping a whole day of the match too.

  2. I haven’t read the dossier, but given how good Aussies are at executing their skillsets why did it call for a 5 ball duck from Ponting? Is he to avoid facing Steyn at all costs?

  3. One thing driving me up the wall with the channel 9 commentary team is them all saying “Gee Kallis is scoring quickly, this is very unusual.”
    Only for those living in a bubble, good to see them paying attention to games not involving Australia… :s

  4. I think the idea was right especially against Hashim Amla as he is an Indian and usually the Asians are not well-known for playing short deliveries well but after Amla survived the first session of the play it was no more difficult for him as he adjusted himself according to the situation beautifully and that’s the class of Amla he adjusts himself according to the match.

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