< 1 minute read Mitchell Johnson, batting at nine, launched the South Africa attack to all parts on his way to 96 not out. He then took 4-25, making light of the fact that Australia have only selected three-and-a-half bowlers. Johnson’s respective averages have just swapped places, so his batting average is now higher
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Phil Hughes’ Australia debut
< 1 minute read Phil Hughes has now faced four balls in Test cricket. Hopefully in his next innings he’ll score his first run. We mentioned Phil Hughes a month or so ago when we pondered whether Australia were the worst team in the world or not. He was one of many reasons why
Continue readingSimon Katich grabs Michael Clarke by the throat
< 1 minute read Simon Katich went for Michael Clarke in the dressing rooms after Australia beat South Africa at the SCG last month. You can’t blame him. If we were in the same team as Michael Clarke, we’d probably have drawn up some sort of schedule as to which days we were going
Continue readingAndrew Symonds continues to embrace tooldom
< 1 minute read It’s difficult to escape the feeling that Andrew Symonds is being punished by Cricket Australia for just generally being a bit of a pillock. Symonds isn’t being selected for Australia’s upcoming tour of South Africa. It’s partly because he went on radio half-cut and called New Zealand’s Brendon McCullum ‘a
Continue readingRicky Ponting’s match-fixing shame
< 1 minute read “So one thing I always do is I gotta run myself out early on – it’s much more fun being an Andrew Symonds or someone.” Don’t fear, people. Ponting is talking about playing Ricky Ponting Pressure Play on the PSP, which is known as Brian Lara Pressure Play in the
Continue readingHaydos: gone but not forgotten
< 1 minute read In many ways, Matthew ‘Haydos’ Hayden is irreplaceable. Not his batting, obviously, Aussie opening batsmen are ten-a-penny. We’re thinking more about his way with words and the way he never lets the faintest whiff of self awareness enter his consciousness. What was your career highlight, Haydos? “Singing the team song
Continue readingShaun Marsh wants to play straighter
< 1 minute read Shaun Marsh said he wanted to play straighter after making 79 in Australia’s win over South Africa. How much straighter does he want to play? Now granted, we slept through a good deal of his innings, but from what we did see Marsh’s batting was straighter than Chuck Norris doing
Continue readingMatthew Hayden’s gone
2 minute read “Matthew Hayden’s gone” was our favourite piece of commentary as well as being our way of announcing his retirement. We’re usually quite generous with our retirement posts. Not today. Matthew Hayden was a batsman in the right place at the right time. He was also an arrogant turd. Essentially though,
Continue readingWhat did David Warner do to his room in Brisbane?
< 1 minute read If you don’t know David Warner, he made his debut for Australia this week and hefted six sixes in hitting the second-fastest Twenty20 international fifty. He ended up with 89 off 43 balls. After the game, a reporter asked him if he felt pigeon-holed as a Twenty20 player? “In a
Continue readingMatthew Hayden – sport’s greatest orator
< 1 minute read Never mind cricket. Matthew Hayden’s the greatest speaker in sport, full stop. “Ultimately it will be my call to look at the bloke that talks to yourself every day in the mirror and say ‘mate it is time to go’ or ‘saddle up, pull your socks up and get on
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