2 minute read The first and most important thing to acknowledge here is that we accurately predicted this result. We accurately predicted who would win the IPL using Ken Nordine’s word jazz album ‘Colors’. Who needs complex data analysis which results in the groan-inducing use of the word ‘impactful’ when you could instead
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Ravindra Jadeja won a match by hitting the last two balls for six – which was his best shot?
2 minute read If we could just ruin the ending of the sort-of-okay action film Braven for you, it climaxes with Jason Momoa throwing himself and the bad guy over a cliff but cleverly snagging his own foot in a bear trap tied to a tree so he doesn’t fall. That’s the kind of death-or-glory,
Continue readingHalfway through the IPL, incontrovertible PROOF that team kit colour is a perfectly sensible way to predict which team will win a T20 league
< 1 minute read At the start of the IPL, we tried to predict who would win based on what word-jazz artist Ken Nordine had said about the various team kit colours in his deep, resonant voice back in 1967. Some of you may have felt that this was not a sensible way to
Continue readingIs Nita Ambani still sapping Mumbai Indians’ will to live with all that team bonding cobblers?
< 1 minute read The 2020 IPL is being played in the UAE. As far as we are aware, Mumbai Indians owner Nita Ambani is not in the UAE. This begs a question. Is Nita Ambani still sucking life from her players through mandatory and dispiriting and unnecessary team bonding shit? You know the
Continue readingOur very favourite thing about Netflix’s Cricket Fever: Lasith Malinga lurking in the background of every scene like a highly conspicuous ghost
3 minute read We’ve finished watching Cricket Fever, Netflix’s documentary series about Mumbai Indians’ 2018 IPL campaign. It’s good, and personal experience revealed that even people who don’t especially like cricket may well enjoy it. It’s not a huge and revelatory experience or anything, but we’d say that people who don’t normally enjoy
Continue readingLet’s use Ken Nordine’s word jazz album ‘Colors’ to work out who’s going to win the 2020 IPL
5 minute read If there’s a simple and obvious way of predicting the 2020 IPL that for some reason hasn’t yet been done, it’s this… We’re going to look at all of the team kits; we’re going to establish the main colour of each one; and then we’re going to listen to what
Continue readingIt’s time to marvel at the vocal stylings of Virat Kohli (and also Rishabh Pant) in this amazing/awful pimple cream ad
2 minute read It’s hard not to feel that the role of ‘ambassador’ has been somewhat devalued in recent years by the marketing industry. It used to be a high-ranking diplomat. But now… “I am very excited to be a part of Team Himalaya and be the ambassador for their Men’s Face Wash
Continue readingWhat does your job have in common with playing for the Mumbai Indians in the IPL?
4 minute read Yesterday we mentioned our grim office job at a company that was dying on its arse. It later occurred to us that Cricket Fever, the Netflix documentary about the Mumbai Indians, might be the reason why this particular slice of our working life had resurfaced uninvited in the ooze of
Continue readingThe T20 World Cup final will be decided by whether or not India can run “all across the ground”
2 minute read India play Australia in the T20 World Cup final. You can read all sorts of match previews, but we assure you the match will be decided on India’s ability to run “all across the ground.” There are many different factors affecting the outcome of a cricket match, but some are
Continue readingOn what channel could Donald Trump find work as a cricket commentator?
< 1 minute read We’re sure you’ve heard Donald Trump’s “Soo Chin Ten-Dull-Kerr and Vir-art Ko Lee” effort by now. It is bad pronunciation. Very bad. So, so bad. Huge mistake. But even if Trump doesn’t – as he once claimed – “have the best words,” this needn’t be a barrier to carving out
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