England once had a player called Jack Crapp

Seriously. Why did no-one tell us about this?

Jack Crapp! Is this common knowledge? How did we miss a name like that?

319 Test runs at an average of 29 seems appropriate. Crapp later became an umpire.

There was also a guy called Dick Spooner.

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30 Appeals

  1. Have you been searching the internet for lists of test players, just so you can find food-related cricketers? That’s cheating! I am sickened by this behaviour, which has made me question the very idea of food-based cricket games and also life itself.

    I now have a huge hole in my life which I consider to be empty and generally worthless. To become whole again I need either:

    a) some play at the test match today (not likely)
    b) a new cricket-themed word game to play

    Since you and your cheating are the cause of this crisis, I trust that you will provide something worthwhile. And be quick about it man – I haven’t got all day you know.

  2. pat poCOCK
    ryan sideBOTTOM
    richard JOHNSON
    paul collingWOOD
    monty PENISar
    peter WILLEY


    • King Cricket

      June 8, 2012 at 10:11 am

      Don’t apologise this early on. It’ll get much, much worse as the day wears on.

      GLANStone Small

  3. Excellent work. I am complete.

  4. Bob Cunis

    Only so as to remind people of the single greatest piece of commentary (speaking?) ever.

  5. Pat Cummins

  6. Graham FELCH

  7. You’re Dick Spooner

  8. KINK Cricket

  9. Saurav GanGOOLIE
    Michael PORN
    Fred TITmus
    Tino BREAST
    FIDDLE Edwards
    MILF Rhodes
    BOOBIE Simpson
    Victor TRUMPer

  10. David PORNer
    Ben MILFenhaus
    Peter FIDDLE
    Darren LAYman
    Keith FELCHer
    Ian BELL END

  11. Ozzies only:
    Shane PORN
    Brett PEE
    Michael SLUTter
    Ricky PORNting
    Stuart MacPILL
    Glenn McGRABS
    Steve PHWOAR
    Mark PHWOAR
    PHATTIE Hayden
    Stevie SNIFFS

    • King Cricket

      June 8, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      We admire the inclusion of both Steve AND Mark PHWOAR.

      Jack Badcock. That was actually his name.

    • King Cricket

      June 8, 2012 at 4:04 pm

      Also Graeme Hole. Again, that was actually his name.

      Keith StackPOLE.

      And Ian Redpath? No?

  12. Boyd Rankin.

    I’ll get my coat.

  13. Unfortunately, none of these even approach the snigger-fest that is the name of former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle.

  14. Did you hear the one about Jack Crapp and Alec Bedser arriving at the team hotel?

  15. Denesh RAMMED-IN

    Rather stole that one from the TMS (not that one, the other one) jingle . . .

  16. SHITE Afridi
    CUMar Sangakkara
    BJ De Villiers
    Mark RampraGASH

  17. Wee Wee Laxative
    Prick Darling
    Mike Hussey
    David Hussey
    Damien Fartin
    Thrustin Longer
    Brad Shattin
    Peter Widdle

  18. …and I thought it couldn’t get any worse…

  19. They arrive at the hotel and the man at the desk says “Bed Sir?”
    “No, Crapp,”answers Jack.
    “Certainly, Sir. Down the corridor, first door on the left.”

    • King Cricket

      June 11, 2012 at 10:43 am

      We didn’t want to steal your thunder with that great story, but we did get a bit worried that you’d mislaid said thunder. Thanks for returning to finish the job.

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