England once had a player called Jack Crapp

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< 1 minute read

Seriously. Why did no-one tell us about this?

Jack Crapp! Is this common knowledge? How did we miss a name like that?

319 Test runs at an average of 29 seems appropriate. Crapp later became an umpire.

There was also a guy called Dick Spooner.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Have you been searching the internet for lists of test players, just so you can find food-related cricketers? That’s cheating! I am sickened by this behaviour, which has made me question the very idea of food-based cricket games and also life itself.

    I now have a huge hole in my life which I consider to be empty and generally worthless. To become whole again I need either:

    a) some play at the test match today (not likely)
    b) a new cricket-themed word game to play

    Since you and your cheating are the cause of this crisis, I trust that you will provide something worthwhile. And be quick about it man – I haven’t got all day you know.

    1. Cricketers with slightly crude sounding names. What do you think this post is about?

  2. pat poCOCK
    ryan sideBOTTOM
    richard JOHNSON
    paul collingWOOD
    monty PENISar
    peter WILLEY


    1. Don’t apologise this early on. It’ll get much, much worse as the day wears on.

      GLANStone Small

  3. Bob Cunis

    Only so as to remind people of the single greatest piece of commentary (speaking?) ever.

  4. Saurav GanGOOLIE
    Michael PORN
    Fred TITmus
    Tino BREAST
    FIDDLE Edwards
    MILF Rhodes
    BOOBIE Simpson
    Victor TRUMPer

  5. David PORNer
    Ben MILFenhaus
    Peter FIDDLE
    Darren LAYman
    Keith FELCHer
    Ian BELL END

  6. Ozzies only:
    Shane PORN
    Brett PEE
    Michael SLUTter
    Ricky PORNting
    Stuart MacPILL
    Glenn McGRABS
    Steve PHWOAR
    Mark PHWOAR
    PHATTIE Hayden
    Stevie SNIFFS

    1. We admire the inclusion of both Steve AND Mark PHWOAR.

      Jack Badcock. That was actually his name.

    2. Also Graeme Hole. Again, that was actually his name.

      Keith StackPOLE.

      And Ian Redpath? No?

  7. Unfortunately, none of these even approach the snigger-fest that is the name of former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle.

  8. Did you hear the one about Jack Crapp and Alec Bedser arriving at the team hotel?

  9. Denesh RAMMED-IN

    Rather stole that one from the TMS (not that one, the other one) jingle . . .

  10. Wee Wee Laxative
    Prick Darling
    Mike Hussey
    David Hussey
    Damien Fartin
    Thrustin Longer
    Brad Shattin
    Peter Widdle

  11. They arrive at the hotel and the man at the desk says “Bed Sir?”
    “No, Crapp,”answers Jack.
    “Certainly, Sir. Down the corridor, first door on the left.”

    1. We didn’t want to steal your thunder with that great story, but we did get a bit worried that you’d mislaid said thunder. Thanks for returning to finish the job.

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