May you enjoy a happy Festivus full of Pakistannery and Herath

Posted by
2 minute read
Festivus (CC licensed by R Crap Mariner via Flickr)
Festivus (CC licensed by R Crap Mariner via Flickr)

Our Festivus post seems to get earlier by the year. We make it that today is Boxing Day Test Eve Eve Eve and so not really in any way something worth acknowledging. However, we’ve realised that if we get the “hey, have a good ‘un” tradition out of the way early and sign off now, we can focus on all the cooking, eating, drinking and sleeping without further distractions.

This year’s Tests are South Africa v Rangana Herath and Australia v Pakistan. Being as the first match is taking place at Port Elizabeth, it promises to favour the home side – although assuming Herath brings his mate Kusal Mendis along, maybe we could get something freakish.

Odds are, however, that the Australia-Pakistan match will be the more interesting of the two. Pakistan – who are, essentially, a swing bowling side – pretty much always do terribly Down Under. They promised new lows in the first innings of the first Test, being bowled out for 142, before delivering a vintage slab of Pakistannery by nearly chasing down 490 but not actually managing it.

Who knows what will happen next. Probably a fairly conventional defeat. That would be the last thing we’d expect and therefore what our money would be on.

Now, before we go, a quick Festivus message…

In a couple of days, when you’re sitting beside your aluminium pole awaiting the airing of grievances, or readying yourself for the feats of strength, just take a moment. Take a moment to think. Take a moment to ponder the likelihood that the world is going to hell in a handcart.

Could cricket be the answer? If this wonderful sport doesn’t actually encourage fans to embrace other cultures, then it does at least make them dimly aware of them. Could dim awareness prove humanity’s salvation?

The answer is no. And cricket is therefore not the answer, but it should hopefully prove an adequate distraction for some of us until international society inevitably breaks down and we all have to sustain ourselves by eating litter.

Have a good time. See you in a few days – or possibly tomorrow in the highly unlikely event that something important strikes us and we just have to get it out.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. we all have to sustain ourselves by eating litter

    Is that the ‘rubbish’ variety, or the cat litter variety?

    I think Michael Vaughan has jumped the gun on the airing of grievances, by the way.

    1. Depends how bad things get, we suppose.

      So first one and then the other.

      What’s Vaughan justsaid?

      1. Nothing new today (as far as I’m aware), just his recent comments about Cook, encouraging him to “just ask himself ‘Have I got the energy to take this team forward?’ The Ashes are in 12 months time….If the answer is just a one per cent ‘no’ then he has to step aside”

        In the spirit of festive goodwill, I’m sure he meant it in a good way, rather than as a subtle insinuation that Cook has been a rubbish captain all year and should step aside for someone else that Vaughan (currently) favours.

        I am disturbed by his use of multiple exclamation marks though (eg here and here).

    1. Happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Solstice/Festivus/Winterval/late December/late Rabi Al-Awwal Bert, and the same to everyone else.

  2. Very best wishes of the festive season to all King Cricket readers and contributors.

    My little readable giftette to you all is a link to my write up of 6 August 2015, a rather auspicious cricketing day (from an England point of view) which unfolded for me in a slightly unusual way.

    Within the Ogblog report that follows are links to several top notch King Cricket pages also relating to that day, not least Bert’s outstanding match report. Enjoy.

    1. Have a great Christmas, Ged and to new found KC chums. Thinking of that ogblog photo of yours with uke, superimpose a seasonal hat on you and it would be cracking Xmas card.

      1. Bless you, Edwardian, and very best seasonal wishes to you and yours too.

        I presume you mean the picture in the following posting:

        If Ceci Masters is around, she (or someone else with similar skills) might oblige with your picture request. But with only one Photoshopping day left until Christmas, you might need to wait until Boxing Day or beyond.

      2. Very good, Ceci. Elf character a nice touch. Got the link by searching directly on net for Ceci Masters.

      3. Indeed, it’s truly wonderful. But the link still doesn’t work for normal mortals. Only e-burrowing elves like me and Edwardian.

        Other folk can see this extraordinary picture by clicking the link below:

        Delighted to see that your Photoshopping skills continue unabated, Ceci. Many many thanks to you and very best wishes for 2017.

  3. Don’t be in low spirits Cricket Rex. It’s not Gotterdammerung, the ultimate of collapses. All will be fine. You’ll see.

  4. Jingle Bells again.

    Ian Bell was in ordinary form when he was squeezed out of the England Test team, but that middle order hasn’t had a convincing replacement since. It may seem far-fetched to suggest that a good BBL could vault him back into the reckoning, but it wouldn’t hurt his cause.

    Bell’s first ball in the BBL was dropped by Weatherald at midwicket from a top-edged pull, but thereafter the new signing was a picture of composure and class. English batsmen are supposed to struggle with the bounce of Australian pitches, but Bell’s cross-bat shots were a feature of his innings. The highlight, though, was his cover drive for six off one-time England teammate Chris Jordan. Bell was out in the 16th over, and his 61 off 42 balls had set up the match.

  5. Happy Festivus everyone. Hope you all get some decent cricket books in your stockings. Don’t be afraid to offload the stinkers to a charity shop.

  6. Best wishes for 2017 to His Maj, His Mum, and the multifarious guest-writers, commenters and lurkers. That means you too, kitty. You too. No matter how much indifference you fake…

  7. Is there a way to watch Test matches in Australia on my TV?
    You are obviously doing so…how?
    Happy Boxing Day test eve btw

    1. If you mean watch tests from Aus while in the UK, Jill, one of the BT Sports channels will be the place.

      We’ve chosen not to subscribe to that yet, but will “have to” do so next year when the Ashes are broadcast there.

Comments are closed.