If Shane, Mitch, James and Usman won’t bother, we will.
1. Bat Michael Clarke down the order
We suggest at number six or even at number seven. As well as protecting the captain from India’s dangerous new ball bowlers, this will also help conserve his strength. He needs all the energy he can get for important and time-consuming bureaucracy.
2. Continue picking Phil Hughes
This will definitely improve the side eventually. Being as Hughes is currently scoring no runs whatsoever, all it will take is a thick edge to third man for Australia to be better off.
3. Pick Steve Smith, Glenn Maxwell and Moises Henriques in the same side
Selectors are always concerned about the balance of the side. What better way to balance it than to have a huge dead weight smack bang in the middle? Please, please, please let this happen.