21

Mohammad Yousuf given the slow boot

Bowled on 25th January, 2010 at 07:56 by King Cricket
Category: Mohammad Yousuf

Mohammad Yousuf does a bit of a half-arsed job for the last couple of matches because, you know, why not?Despite the fact that there are still a few matches to go on the tour of Australia, Pakistan Cricket Board chairman, Ijaz Butt, has already confirmed that Mohammad Yousuf will not be captain when it finishes.

Having to do a job when you already know you’re being made redundant is bloody awful. It feels like digging your own grave. Unlike when it happened to us though, Yousuf probably won’t find that his job is being outsourced. You can’t really outsource the Pakistan captaincy.

He won’t suffer another insult which we endured either: having to shave because you’ve got to go to job interviews.

Hopefully the PCB will be generous in turning a blind eye if he steals a load of carboard boxes and batteries as well. You’ve got to get something out of the last few weeks when you’re basically just going through the motions.

This film features marines using the bannister when they go down some stairs. What more could you want?

Make an appeal
  1. Reply
    Spider   //   January 25th, 2010 at 08:15

    “Hopefully the PCB will be generous in turning a blind eye if he steals a load of carboard boxes and batteries as well. You’ve got to get something out of the last few weeks when you’re basically just going through the motions..”

    is that a confession?

  2. Reply
    King Cricket   //   January 25th, 2010 at 09:07

    Sometimes you have to make your own redundancy payment out of stationery and the like.

  3. Reply
    Winsome   //   January 25th, 2010 at 10:07

    Unless they bribe you to do your job properly in the last few weeks.

    That is a confession.

  4. Reply
    alex   //   January 25th, 2010 at 10:17

    Or unless they accidentally pay you your redundancy money twice.
    Ha ha, the fuckers.

  5. Reply
    Bert   //   January 25th, 2010 at 10:43

    You must never, ever tell someone they are being made redundant and then allow them to carry out an important job. For example, a hospital manager scheduled to have a vasectomy next week should never, ever let on to the urology department that they are all to be made redundant in a month.

    The reason for this is that they could be distracted by the stress of the redundancy, and might not be able to concentrate fully on what they are doing. In the case of Mohammed Yousuf, this could result in him ballsing up his cut – whereas in the case of the urology surgeon…

  6. Reply
    Bobby K   //   January 25th, 2010 at 11:12

    Mohammed Youssuf’s beard looks like it has been stuck on with glue

  7. Reply
    King Cricket   //   January 25th, 2010 at 11:16

    It’s the absence of a moustache. It’s the kind of beard that is also favoured by American scientists and religious Belgians.

  8. Reply
    chowkster   //   January 25th, 2010 at 11:29

    Hahaha Bert, that made me giggle uncontrollably

  9. Reply
    Bobby K   //   January 25th, 2010 at 11:39

    Its also a movie Mormon beard although those are ususally Ginger

    Rabbi Beards are the coolest though

    http://www.crownheights.info/media/2/20080227-Rabbi-Zalman-Lipskier-Chaplain-Lrg.jpg

  10. Reply
    Ged   //   January 25th, 2010 at 13:17

    You can outsourc ethe captaincy of a national cricket team.

    Some would argue that England have outsourced its captaincy to South Africa many times, from Tony Greig through to (most dubiously in argument terms I might add) Andy Strauss.

  11. Reply
    SimonC   //   January 25th, 2010 at 13:19

    It kind of looks like his beard grew his face, rather than vice versa.

    Which is a good thing, by the way.

  12. Reply
    Tim   //   January 25th, 2010 at 14:08

    I think he’s just licked his moustache off.

  13. Reply
    Ravi   //   January 25th, 2010 at 14:41

    They’ve outsourced the England captaincy to an Indian as well in the form of Nasser Hussain

  14. Reply
    Sandeep K   //   January 25th, 2010 at 15:33

    So who will be the next captain, Vice-Captain Kamran Akmal????

  15. Reply
    enkidu   //   January 25th, 2010 at 17:02

    I don’t think there should be a captain at all. Being uncaptained will be a cunning way to head-off any leadership struggles. Mohammed Asif is clearly in charge of vices and would be a good vice-captain. However, since that would create a power imbalance, all 11 players should be made vice-captain. A democratic approach will promote teamwork.

  16. Reply
    horatius   //   January 25th, 2010 at 22:12

    Just call everyone captain and be done with it.

  17. Reply
    Dave   //   January 26th, 2010 at 13:41

    Perhaps they could outsource the captaincy to Alastair Cook.

  18. Reply
    Ged   //   January 26th, 2010 at 17:16

    Perhaps Pakistan could outsource their captaincy to Imran Tahir.

  19. Reply
    labrat   //   January 26th, 2010 at 18:54

    Alphabetically speaking, is it Mohammed Aamer’s turn?

  20. Reply
    King Cricket   //   January 26th, 2010 at 19:20

    Alphabetically speaking, it’s ALWAYS Mohammad Aamer’s turn.

  21. Reply
    Ged   //   January 27th, 2010 at 13:58

    Actually Pakistan players go by first name alphabetical listing, not second name. The Pakistan player listings are a bit skewiffy on Cricinfo, but I reckon that Aafan Rauf is top of the alphabetical pecking order.

    http://www.cricinfo.com/pakistan/content/player/39827.html

    But he hasn’t done much lately, if ever, so I guess Abdul Razzaq is front of the queue amongst the contracted players.

    What excitement.

Discussion Area - Make an appeal

Comment RSS | TrackBack URL

Cricket history

Photographs on this site by Sarah Ansell

sarah_ansell.jpeg