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Momentum has raised its meaningless head

Bowled on 13th July, 2009 at 20:59 by King Cricket
Category: Andrew Strauss, Ashes

If cricketers’ use of the word ‘momentum’ were given physical form, we’d like to meet it.

Even if it were an innocent-looking child holding a balloon, we’d still have no qualms about punching it square in the face with all our might. We’d watch the balloon floating skywards and think to ourselves that we’d made the world a better place.

After England’s largely inadequate performance in the first Test, Andrew Strauss said:

“Momentum is a massive thing and what happened today will give us a big lift for the rest of the Ashes.”

Teams can seemingly take momentum from just about any carefully selected moment during a five-day Test match.

Mitchell Johnson’s probably taken momentum from the rare deliveries where he didn’t miss the cut strip.

This film features marines using the bannister when they go down some stairs. What more could you want?

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  1. Reply
    GoodCricketWicket   //   July 13th, 2009 at 21:40

    And presumably Monty will use his batting momentum to stake a claim to open the innings at Lord’s.

  2. Reply
    Dave   //   July 13th, 2009 at 21:59

    Can he be any worse than Eyeliner?

  3. Reply
    Ged Ladd   //   July 13th, 2009 at 22:29

    You have a long-term downer on the word momentum, KC and it has to be said that your tirade against that innocent little collection of syllables has gathered momentum of late.

  4. Reply
    Harris Harrison   //   July 13th, 2009 at 22:55

    I remember all that momentum that the Australians took from scraping a draw at Old Trafford in 2005.

    They were awesome at Trent Bridge.

    http://tinyurl.com/nhjjy2

  5. Reply
    daneel   //   July 14th, 2009 at 03:18

    Momentum? Things going downhill rapidly have a lot of the stuff, I seem to remember from physics lessons.

    However, at least it’s a better start than we made in the last series. Better than in 2005, too, at least in terms of a result, if not in showing an ability to properly compete; we haven’t had a better result in the first test of an Ashes series since 1997 at Edgbaston (ah, Gough and Caddick running through the Aussies in the first innings, and Hussain’s 200…happy days…). That probably indicates much more than how dire we’ve mostly been between those dates more than anything else, though.

  6. Reply
    steve   //   July 14th, 2009 at 04:28

    Momentum is something that builds on what you already are producing.

    In England’s case, i shudder to think, then, what will be produced for Lords.

  7. Reply
    Benno   //   July 14th, 2009 at 09:09

    Inzy used to have a lot of momentum once he had completed the 22 yard dash. Trouble is he’d usually just run the guy out at the other end.

  8. Reply
    Bert   //   July 14th, 2009 at 11:36

    He was nearly right though. He just needed to say, “Momentum is a massive thing MULTIPLIED BY ITS SPEED.”

    In terms of what he was talking about though, I’m just pleased that they are bouyant. If they were going into Thursday’s match saying how bad they all were at cricket, and how the Aussies were desperately unlucky not to inflict a humiliating innings defeat on us, then we’d be in trouble.

  9. Reply
    narkins   //   July 14th, 2009 at 14:12

    Hey i’ve got momentum for you straussy, the momentum of a sledge hammer to smash you and the other 4 cunts who forgot how to bat you public school fucktard.]

    Stop talking and go to lords and bat fucker and fucking don’t stop fucking batting until you fucker can barely lift your fucking bat.

  10. Reply
    Suave   //   July 14th, 2009 at 14:24

    Narkins is a winner!!

    That kind of outburst is exactly what Collingwood should’ve been saying to the rest of The England. Public school pussies.

  11. Reply
    narkins   //   July 14th, 2009 at 17:43

    Cheers Sauve

    Colly might not have said it in public but he certainly wasn’t a happy fucker, when he raised his bat he looked like he might kill someone in the pavilion. He more stabbed his bat at them than raised it.

    I also noticed that he sat away from everyone else after he got out, possibly a mixture of anger at himself for playing such a shot and to prevent 5 cases of murder first degree being read out to him in court.

  12. Reply
    thesaurusrus   //   July 17th, 2009 at 02:33

    seems that Strauss read what narkins said, with his public school brain he must have known what was going to happen as the batsmen at the other end got out for 32, 16, 8 ,4 ….

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