19

Stuart Broad has published a photograph

Bowled on 15th October, 2012 at 22:05 by
Category: Alastair Cook, Graham Onions, James Anderson, Matt Prior

Please take a look at it by clicking here (opens in new tab).

We believe this photo provides a window into the future, even though it was actually taken in the past. It’s hard to put your finger on exactly what it is, but basically most of the people in it look like dads.

Matt Prior is comfortably successful, middle-aged spread dad. Ian Bell is his son.

Stuart Broad is with his dad, Graham Onions. Graham has had a mid-life crisis and therefore always wears a leather jacket, even when it is manifestly inappropriate to do so.

Jimmy Anderson is looking awkward and holding a pashmina shawl for his wife while she catches up with her friends. He doesn’t really know what to do with himself, so he just stands there.

Alastair Cook is the weirdest of all. He is sleazy lothario dad. He wears lurid shirts to complement his permatan and he always leaves a couple of buttons undone.

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  1. Reply
    Sam   //   October 15th, 2012 at 22:13

    Who’s the guy on the right? I feel like I know him.

    • Deep Cower   //   October 15th, 2012 at 22:53

      I don’t like him. This conclusion has been derived by looking at him from an angle of thirty seven degrees and concluding that he’s a sleazeball.

      Excellent work deconstructing the characters in the picture, KC! Though I’d say Graham does look rather dapper in that leather suit.

    • Ged   //   October 15th, 2012 at 23:35

      Daisy is with Deep Cower on this one.

      Her “dapper award” goes to the boy Onions too.

  2. Reply
    daneel   //   October 15th, 2012 at 22:40

    Who’s the guy between Onions and Anderson? He doesn’t look like he was meant to be part of the picture…

    • King Cricket   //   October 15th, 2012 at 22:53

      That’s Ottis Gibson.

  3. Reply
    John   //   October 15th, 2012 at 23:33

    Ottis is photobombing :D

    And yeah, Cook looks sleazy as hell there.

  4. Reply
    Ged   //   October 15th, 2012 at 23:43

    Actually the photo was taken at the annual convention of The National Association of Double Glazing Salesfolk.

    They held an hilarious competition in which members competed for the cricketer lookalike award.

    The winner was the geezer on the far right, who was deemed to be the spitting image of Glen Chapple.

  5. Reply
    SarahCanterbury   //   October 16th, 2012 at 12:22

    Oh per-lease! Call yourself cricket fans??! Far right man is Mike Powell.

    *sighs*

    • King Cricket   //   October 16th, 2012 at 12:31

      Abergavenny Mike Powell, not Bolton Mike Powell for the sake of clarity.

    • SarahCanterbury   //   October 16th, 2012 at 12:45

      Thank you for the clarification, KC. I did indeed mean Abergavenny Mike Powell!

    • SarahCanterbury   //   October 16th, 2012 at 12:48

      I vehemently refute the sleazeball assessment, incidentally! He’s a very, very nice bloke.

    • Deep Cower   //   October 16th, 2012 at 15:27

      *Stares into empty space, twirls ‘stache*
      If one cannot make snap judgments about strangers, then wherefore the internet?

      But seriously, sorry Sarah. I have been tricked into this. KC is a devious bastard. Let’s burn his effigy.

    • sam   //   October 16th, 2012 at 17:42

      Is Bolton Mike Powell the same as former Warwickshire captain Mike Powell?

      He was called up to an England touring squad once as a reserve batsman. Legend has it they got the wrong Mike Powell.

      And when I say legend, I mean my dad.

    • SarahCanterbury   //   October 16th, 2012 at 18:12

      I can’t be too mean to KC, Deep Cower. He’s quite a nice chap in spite of his anti Division 2 bias.

      Speaking of which, rather looking forward to seeing how that pans out next season!

    • sam   //   October 17th, 2012 at 10:29

      Oh no she didn’t

  6. Reply
    ceci   //   October 16th, 2012 at 12:51

    Suspect that’s Alastair’s pajama top under his rumpled jacket. Clearly didn’t hear alarm call for the photoshoot. And is that the back of Colly’s head on the left – he must be holding a pint glass and therefore excluded from the ECB approved half pint maximum

  7. Reply
    patrick   //   October 16th, 2012 at 15:08

    I’ve never seen a cricketer look good in a suit so full points to Onions for the jacket.

    Cook is certainly doing it best to make it work, though.

    • patrick   //   October 16th, 2012 at 15:09

      ‘it’ being ‘his’, to be sure.

  8. Reply
    Dandy Dan   //   October 16th, 2012 at 20:24

    Jimmy’s tie is ruddy awful.

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