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What is Matthew Hoggard?

Bowled on 13th October, 2009 at 10:01 by King Cricket
Category: County cricket news, Matthew Hoggard

Matthew Hoggard feeling a bit hacked offMatthew Hoggard has been released by Yorkshire. He was offered a contract at the start of the season and it sounds to us like he weighed it up for a bit too long.

Hoggard’s understandably pissed off about this, because after 15 years at Yorkshire, he hasn’t had a chance for a proper send-off from the supporters. This mirrors the situation when he lost his England place. England dropped him midway through a tour of New Zealand allowing him to spend the next couple of weeks feeling as much use as the word ‘backwards’ in the phrase ‘reverse backwards’.

Matthew Hoggard can go from seeming to be of crucial importance to being unwanted and out of place in a spectacularly short space of time. What is Matthew Hoggard?

Is he a pog? Is he Friends Reunited? Is he a shellsuit?

This film features marines using the bannister when they go down some stairs. What more could you want?

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  1. Reply
    Bobby K   //   October 13th, 2009 at 11:04

    He is my hero

    I shall love him forever

    One day I will build a shrine to him in my garden.

  2. Reply
    England Cricket   //   October 13th, 2009 at 12:12

    Yorkshire have made a mistake in not keeping Matthew Hoggard. After all his services to England and Yorkshire, I feel that he is deserving of a contract on his terms. The team that secures his signing will have captured a match winner.

    To answer your question, Matthew Hoggard is a match winning swing bowler, who is deserving of a contract.

  3. Reply
    string   //   October 13th, 2009 at 13:24

    I believe that makes Matthew Hoggard a condom.

  4. Reply
    King Cricket   //   October 13th, 2009 at 13:31

    That’s a very good line. No-one’s going to top that.

  5. Reply
    D Charlton   //   October 13th, 2009 at 14:31

    Maybe String should write these blogs…

  6. Reply
    Sreehari   //   October 13th, 2009 at 14:45

    Hi

    I have started a blog under the title http://cricketcoloumn.blogspot.com which I’d be updating every now and then. Pls visit my blog and incase u find the blog really interesting have a link on your blog. I’ve added your blog under the title “King Cricket”.Have a great day

  7. Reply
    Ceci   //   October 13th, 2009 at 15:12

    The genius of the KIng’s blog, D Charlton, is that it elicits diamond responses such as String’s amongst the usual commentators’ dross

  8. Reply
    SixSixEight   //   October 13th, 2009 at 16:24

    Perhaps Yorkshire will find out he is that bit of plastic that looks so stupid that you forget to put it somewhere important [and thus loose it] when you are constructing that newly purchased self assembly furniture. Then you find out when you can’t relocate it that it was totally essential to your now avant-garde pile of firewood.

    The top wicket taker and a bowler who was fit all year – to most teams that would make him indispensable. I was thinking of making a Yorkshire voodoo doll – but thinking about it….a waste of time – they are imploding just fine.

  9. Reply
    Winsome   //   October 13th, 2009 at 22:18

    He must not be the reasonably decent bloke that he appears. Why does he keep getting shafted?

    It still pisses me off that they dropped him in NZ just to make big Steve feel better about being dropped and then (much to my horror) kept bringing back big Steve.

    Wrong, wrong, wrong.

  10. Reply
    Grrlscout   //   October 14th, 2009 at 04:30

    I read this on another site and had to copy it on:

    “What really upsets me is that I wasn’t given the chance in my final game to say goodbye to the Yorkshire supporters, who’ve been so good to me over the years,” Hoggard told The Times. “Other players who knew that they weren’t going to be around next year were given a handshake and a send-off in front of the fans. All I got after 15 years at the club was a cup of coffee in the chief executive’s office.”

    He’s a perfectly decent bloke, and a great player when he’s on form. This past season with Yorkshire has been one long exercise in Hoggard showing what he can do when he’s fit, rested, focused and properly coached… Leicester, if they get him, will get an even more determined player. I think it’s sad that after so many years at Yorkshire and with England that he’s being treated this way.

  11. Reply
    Whit OZ   //   October 14th, 2009 at 04:55

    Maybe he should get a cat, he would feel better with a cat. Everything is better with a cat.

  12. Reply
    Fred Grace   //   October 14th, 2009 at 08:35

    Thanks Sreehari, we need another cricket blog.

  13. Reply
    string   //   October 14th, 2009 at 09:48

    I struggle with much more than witty one liners.

    To join in the serious (pah!) discussion, sixsixeight is dead right – he’s a asset to whomever he bowls for, and not just because he’ll “toil away all day”, that cliche hides his true value. He’s a great nurturerer of young bowlers and an astute reader of a batsman’s game. And he always seemed to picked up a wicket in his first spell when the shine was on the ball.

  14. Reply
    Mel   //   October 14th, 2009 at 10:01

    I’m thinking of becoming a Yorkshire fan just so that I can then stop supporting them in protest at this. Tossers.

  15. Reply
    Tim   //   October 14th, 2009 at 10:10

    You know when you write something in English, and use an online translation tool to turn it into another language? And you know when you translate it back into English and laugh at the funny way it’s all been mixed up? If you like doing that, you will love Sreehari’s blog.

    I quote:

    “In the second test of the ongoing Ashes series between England and Australia,needless to be said, England hold the upper hand in the match when they first put up the very same total of 425 runs on the board in the first innings which they had put up in the first innings of the first Ashes test which ended in a draw. And after their show with the bat, their bowling just dictated the Australian batsmen when they lost 8 wickets for a score of just 156 on the board with still needing 269 runs to go past the England total and 70 more runs to avoid a follow on with just two wickets in hand. Of course, it would be a miracle for any team to do that.”

    Quite, quite beautiful.

  16. Reply
    Mahinda   //   October 14th, 2009 at 10:24

    OZ, I think you’ll find Hoggy’s more a dog man. Imaginary or otherwise.

    Yorkshire’s loss. Damn, what a pity.

  17. Reply
    Dandy Dan   //   October 14th, 2009 at 13:26

    I wish I had a cat.

  18. Reply
    thesaurusrus   //   October 14th, 2009 at 15:38

    Was he sacked for walking an imaginary dog?

  19. Reply
    Suave   //   October 14th, 2009 at 19:28

    I’m gonna come right out with it, because no one else has.

    Matthew Hoggard: C*nt.

    There has been stories all summer, of him saying he may have to leave to get the games he wants, he chose not to sign a new contract, and he’s been fucked over. Good!

    No player is bigger than the club, and Hoggy seemed to think he was by his reaction this season. No, fuck off, you wang it down retard.

    You want a new contract, do it in private, don’t spout shit all year and be surprised when your employer tells you to poke it….

    AND HE AVERAGED 32 WITH THE BALL!! Ta ta wrong un.

  20. Reply
    e normous   //   October 15th, 2009 at 11:44

    Hoggard – good guy. Don’t see many of those in English cricket. You can’t possibly call him a cunt on a blog that idolises Robert Key. HE is a cunt.

  21. Reply
    Martletman   //   October 16th, 2009 at 09:54

    Sussex could do with a decent bowler, or even a mediocre one, as the Village cup thingy was won by a Yorkshireman playing for a Sussex team against a Yorkshire side we have a precedent, sign him up.

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