A signed cricket bat in multiple places

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Send us pictures of cricket bats or other cricket stuff in unusual places to king@kingcricket.co.uk.

Miriam writes:

Here is a cricket bat in some unusual places. Specifically, here is the cricket bat signed by the Sussex team that I won through King Cricket, from a lingerie website, around my house.

1. The cricket bat is enjoying a relaxing lie-down in my drinks cabinet.

Booze bat

It is being protected from marauding children by a barrier of small alcohol miniatures.

2. The cricket bat is, as befits a bat won from a lingerie website, in my underwear drawer.

Bra bat

It’s in my “everyday” underwear draw, not my “special” underwear drawer. I am aware, by the way, that my sash window needs painting, but that’s really a summer job. I’ve also been meaning to change the handles on the chest of drawers for, like, forever.

Typical, isn’t it. You leave these things for ages and then it’s only when someone asks for pictures of a cricket bat in an unusual place that you think about them again. And now I feel inadequate. Great. The bag is not made of a real leopard, by the way, girls, so please don’t come round and throw paint at me. Unless, of course, you’d like to throw white paint on the window frame with a brush.

3. The cricket bat is now sitting up in my bed, as if it owns the place. It doesn’t. I do. Well, the bank mainly does.

Bed bat

If I were a cruder person, I’d make a joke about that being the longest, thickest, hardest piece of wood that I’ve ever had between my sheets. Luckily, I’m not that person.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. I thought that was a blood splatter on the pillow… quite some night that must have been combined with all that booze.

  2. Who would be the lead detective for CSI Neasden? Twiggy is from Neasden itself, though Russell Grant hails from just down the road in Hillingdon.

    And I’ve just found out (from The Interweb) that he is the Lord of Ashford of Middlesex. How the devil that happened, I don’t know, but it strikes me as foolishness. Does Capn Strauss know about this? Does Ceci?

  3. I went to school in Neasden, I’ll have you know! At no point was there any blood-spattering. Or cricket, for that matter.

    Actually, there may have been a bit of blood-spattering when the games of British Bulldog got out of hand. Definitely no cricket, though — we weren’t allowed.

    Mims, I never for once imagined that I’d get a peek at the contents of your drawers. Much less see the amount of wood you pack at your bed’s head.

  4. I am wondering where the minature drinkies came from – airline or hotel minibar? And marvel at someone so posh they have “special” underwear – is this stuff where the elastic hasn’t totally perished? The bedhead is lovely – something to grip onto.

    String – this was the only pic I could find http://tinyurl.com/asvcwh

    when I googled Lord Asford – think it was just before he was carted off to the Tower for placing a plebian finger on a Royal shoulder – and Strauss knows – he’s there and clearly shouting in pain at such treasonable touching

  5. This is getting a little too racy for me – I’m off to feed the chooks (that’s not a euphemism.)

  6. Photos 1 and 2 are very cross-batted shots.

    Photo 3 is the only shot with a more or less straight bat.

    You need more practice, Miriam, and I’m sure we’d all like to see more examples of your shots in future.

    Great feature.

  7. Sam, I’m afraid I shall have to graciously decline.

    Spigot, sometimes in a dim light I think that it’s a spider on the pillow, and get all freaked out.

    SimonC / String – CSI South London was exactly what I was going for.

    Mahinda, I was tempted to tidy the drawers but then realised the bat would cover a multitude of sins.

    Ceci, yes, the bedhead is something to grip onto, and also to tie things to. Sorry, the Librarian.

    Ged Ladd, the bat was distinctly droopy until it was in my bed, it’s true.

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