Ashwin and Jadeja. Again.

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2 minute read

It must be getting on for 10 years now that touring Test teams have been arriving in India expecting to have to combat R Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja on pitches that will more than likely turn a bit. No-one’s really worked it out yet.

10 years, man! 10 years! And no-one’s worked it out. And probably no-one ever will work it out. Facing R Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja on pitches that will more than likely turn a bit is essentially unworkoutable.

Ashwin has taken 320 Test wickets in India at 20.88. Jadeja has taken 179 at 20.30.

“Oh yeah, well, batting’s just a lottery on those pitches,” argue the knobheads.

Yet somehow Ashwin averages 28.85 with the bat on those same pitches and Jadeja averages 42.41.

It’s not the pitches. It’s the bowling.

Just think about what these guys are currently doing. They are not merely saying, “I am about to punch you in the mouth,” and then somehow punching you in the mouth without you being able to dodge it. They are doing more than that.

> Ravindra Jadeja’s record is becoming a bit good

R Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja are giving you a big, long, protracted presentation about the exact way in which they are going to punch you in the mouth. They’re showing slides, video clips, diagrams. They’re giving you tips on what to look out for. Then they’re saying, “Brace yourself. I’m going to punch you in the mouth right now this exact second.” And then they’re punching you in the mouth and you’re completely failing to avoid it.

It’s been 10 years. Every team turns up with more video footage than they could ever possibly watch. They have team meetings. They practise. In the case of Australia, they even recruit bowlalike net bowlers to familiarise themselves with what are surely already just about the most familiar bowling actions they’ll ever encounter.

And then R Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja punch them in the mouth.

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  1. Update from last year. I still like him. And I always read all your linked articles.

    And I wish I could to the spinny sword thing.
    And also score a fifty.

      1. Indeed: “Our Ashwin” (copyright Ged Ladd October 2016). Fact.

        I also invented the internet. Fact. Then I created Ogblog, the biggest web site in the world. Fact.

        (I think I’d better go and lie down for a while, now, it’s been a long day.)

  2. Qasim Akram. Similar to Wasim Akram but not quite the same? Fitting I guess that he should be playing in a T20 franchise that wants to be the IPL but isn’t quite.

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