< 1 minute read Test duck-scoring shortarse with a point to prove, Ravi Bopara, proved his point weeks ago. Ravi’s now had his point embossed on his batting glove and his systematically punching everyone in the face with it. If you don’t know that Ravi Bopara is serious about playing for England, you’ll see
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Steve Harmison takes a hat trick
< 1 minute read Lolloping ganglatron of mental fragility, Steve Harmison, took a hat-trick against champions Sussex over the weekend. We’re more interested in his opening spell during Sussex’s first innings though, where at one point he’d taken 2-7 off 11 overs. Moping about in county cricket in a state of permanent ill-temper will
Continue readingSimon Jones is fit and firing
< 1 minute read You’ve got to write these updates when you’ve the chance. We’re a bit worried because we wrote this on Sunday. 24 hours is an eternity when you’re talking about the fitness of Simon Jones. We’ll plough on regardless though. Thus far in the County Championship, Simon Jones has taken 5-92,
Continue readingJoe Denly hits a fourth innings hundred
< 1 minute read While largely overshadowed by Rob Key‘s silky 26, Joe Denly‘s 149 was still a weighty contribution towards a Kent total of 250. Kent lost, but you can’t really blame No Pants for that. Has anyone got any information on that nickname’s origins yet? If you do know and it’s a
Continue readingSimon Jones and his injuries
2 minute read Andrew Flintoff is injured again. If only there were another English fast-bowling hope we could all idiotically and unreasonably crush with our mindless, unjustified hope. Step forward Simon Jones. Step forward carefully though. Don’t want you twisting an ankle or rupturing your pancreas or something. Simon Jones took 5-32 yesterday
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff bowling like a beast
< 1 minute read Not a cow or an ocelot or a langur monkey, but some sort of robotic beast specifically created to fire out intimidating back-of-a-length bowling. Paul Horton’s hundred looks even better after Durham were bowled out for 90. James Anderson took most of the wickets, but according to Lancashire’s captain, Stuart
Continue readingPaul Horton scores while bigger names don’t
< 1 minute read Lancashire 143 (thanks to Mark Davies), Durham 114 (thanks to James Anderson and Andrew Flintoff), Lancashire 293 and Durham 28-3 (Flintoff again). As it stands, that 293 looks out of place. What happened? It was Paul Horton, Lancashire’s opener. No-one else in the match has passed 40. Horton made 108
Continue readingRWT Key lbw bowled Martin for 24
< 1 minute read It was going down leg. We haven’t seen it, but it was definitely going down the legside. If anyone out there thinks that Rob Key was genuinely dismissed, they’d better steel themselves for the consequences. The consequences are that we will politely disagree with them.
Continue readingWho is James Tomlinson?
< 1 minute read Everybody’s asking. We’ve already told you. James Tomlinson was our mate at school. We played cricket using a fire grate as stumps. James spent a period carrying a small piece of fabric around in his pencil case. He said it was a dog. He said the dog was called ‘Turbo’.
Continue readingMark Davies materialises
< 1 minute read We’ve always liked Mark Davies. He was like the invisible man that only we could see. If he wasn’t injured, he’d be there, chipping away for Durham, taking 2-30 or 3-45 – nondescript-yet-efficient bowling figures that kept his first-class average surprisingly low. It was 22.63 before this match. But now
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