< 1 minute readSimon Katich went for Michael Clarke in the dressing rooms after Australia beat South Africa at the SCG last month. You can’t blame him. If we were in the same team as Michael Clarke, we’d probably have drawn up some sort of schedule as to which days we were going
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Andrew Symonds continues to embrace tooldom
< 1 minute readIt’s difficult to escape the feeling that Andrew Symonds is being punished by Cricket Australia for just generally being a bit of a pillock. Symonds isn’t being selected for Australia’s upcoming tour of South Africa. It’s partly because he went on radio half-cut and called New Zealand’s Brendon McCullum ‘a
Continue readingRicky Ponting’s match-fixing shame
< 1 minute read“So one thing I always do is I gotta run myself out early on – it’s much more fun being an Andrew Symonds or someone.” Don’t fear, people. Ponting is talking about playing Ricky Ponting Pressure Play on the PSP, which is known as Brian Lara Pressure Play in the
Continue readingHaydos: gone but not forgotten
< 1 minute readIn many ways, Matthew ‘Haydos’ Hayden is irreplaceable. Not his batting, obviously, Aussie opening batsmen are ten-a-penny. We’re thinking more about his way with words and the way he never lets the faintest whiff of self awareness enter his consciousness. What was your career highlight, Haydos? “Singing the team song
Continue readingShaun Marsh wants to play straighter
< 1 minute readShaun Marsh said he wanted to play straighter after making 79 in Australia’s win over South Africa. How much straighter does he want to play? Now granted, we slept through a good deal of his innings, but from what we did see Marsh’s batting was straighter than Chuck Norris doing
Continue readingMatthew Hayden’s gone
2 minute read“Matthew Hayden’s gone” was our favourite piece of commentary as well as being our way of announcing his retirement. We’re usually quite generous with our retirement posts. Not today. Matthew Hayden was a batsman in the right place at the right time. He was also an arrogant turd. Essentially though,
Continue readingWhat did David Warner do to his room in Brisbane?
< 1 minute readIf you don’t know David Warner, he made his debut for Australia this week and hefted six sixes in hitting the second-fastest Twenty20 international fifty. He ended up with 89 off 43 balls. After the game, a reporter asked him if he felt pigeon-holed as a Twenty20 player? “In a
Continue readingMatthew Hayden – sport’s greatest orator
< 1 minute readNever mind cricket. Matthew Hayden’s the greatest speaker in sport, full stop. “Ultimately it will be my call to look at the bloke that talks to yourself every day in the mirror and say ‘mate it is time to go’ or ‘saddle up, pull your socks up and get on
Continue readingMatthew Hayden, please don’t retire
< 1 minute readThere are those of you who may think we’d be pleased to see Matthew Hayden retire. Nothing could be further from the truth. For one thing, it’s fun to watch his futile attempts to scrabble runs, but more importantly, we’d hate to see the cricket world lose one if its
Continue readingMichael Clarke is a proper batsman
< 1 minute readMichael Clarke and Ian Bell. Two munchkin-faced, thimble-sized men who’ve made knowledgeable cricket folk go all quivery with their batsmanship. They’re much the same age and apparently both have “natural talent” instead of a skeleton. However, one’s dithering along the same as he always has done, while the other’s a
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