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Category: England

February 23, 2016 England

Ian Botham and the statistical unit that is a cricketer’s career

2 minute readOne guy played 25 Tests and finished with a batting average of 40.48 and a bowling average of 18.52. Another guy played the same number of Tests and averaged 23.45 with the bat and 42 with the ball. Name those cricketers. We’ll give you the answer at the end of

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February 14, 2016 England / South Africa

Alex Hales cultivates a healthy aversion to failure

2 minute readIf you were starring in Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and needed to act in a scene where the submarine grounded on the seabed or was attacked by some sort of leviathan, there was only one way to do it. You and the rest of the cast ran

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February 12, 2016 England / South Africa

England win, England lose, life goes on

< 1 minute readSometimes you win, sometimes you lose. When you win, all’s well. The captain says that you played well as a unit while adding a cautionary note: “We are not yet the finished article.” When you lose, he talks about processes and learning curves. Lose a few in a row and

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February 10, 2016 England

Will Liam Dawson play for England at the World Twenty20?

< 1 minute readHe’s in the squad. The squad’s not that big. He probably will. Australia may well be going down the same route, but it still seems weird to us to select players for a World Cup when you’ve never selected them before. We were so taken aback by Liam Dawson’s inclusion

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February 9, 2016 England / South Africa

Hashim Amla in ODIs – a brief but unwelcome detour into stats

2 minute readThe human brain isn’t wired for statistics. In fact it isn’t wired at all. Perhaps that’s the problem. Maybe in the distant future when we’re all mechanically enhanced cyberfolk we’ll be able to make logical decisions based on data rather than being influenced by our demented emotional responses to stories

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February 6, 2016 England / South Africa

England ODI team triggers outlandish pronouncement

< 1 minute readWe once overheard one man say to another man: “I gave you the money and you ate the money.” True story. The background is that we were in a restaurant in Goa on Christmas Day. It was early evening and the proprietor was already absolutely shit-faced. A customer was buying

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February 4, 2016 Australia / England / India

Analysis of ICC’s decision to review 2014 restructuring

< 1 minute readThe ICC has realised that the ‘Big Three’ changes pushed through in 2014 were… (a) taking the piss a bit; and (b) liable to lead to the complete implosion of the sport in the long-term They have therefore resolved to do something different instead; something a bit less shit.

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February 3, 2016 England

England again fail to make 400 as old-fashioned approach to one-day cricket continues to hold them back

< 1 minute readIn the first one-day international against South Africa at Bloemfontein, England, batting first, again failed to pass 400. In so doing they extended a barren run which now stretches all the way back to June. On a flat pitch, they would have expected to have done better. South Africa, Australia

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February 3, 2016 Australia / England / New Zealand / South Africa

When should we start thinking about the World T20?

< 1 minute readApparently things don’t ‘hove into view’. They actually heave into view – it’s just that no-one says that. One thing’s for certain though, things that demand this verb are large and cumbersome. A cat never heaves into a view, for example (although it may well heave while in view, if

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January 29, 2016 England

Which struggling England Test batsman is currently of most interest to people?

< 1 minute readWe’re not interested in anyone’s actual opinion, but we are interested in who people have opinions about. If we were a mainstream media outlet, we’d bill this as being ‘Twitter’s verdict’ as if Twitter’s a single person with a single opinion and a single voice. What we will instead say

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Latest comments

  1. Ged Ladd on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 27, 2025

    I hope you’re not suggesting that Geoffrey’s mum could do better than that with a stick of rhubarb, Tim.

  2. King Cricket on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 27, 2025

    Merry Day After Boxing Day Testmas, JJE!

  3. Aditya on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 27, 2025

    I know it’s hard, with finances dictating everything, but I wish we could have Boxing Day tests in Australia, South…

  4. Tim on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 27, 2025

    Oh Ged. Just think of Geoffrey, he always slows things down

  5. JJE on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 27, 2025

    Well, that was some ridiculous Ashes right there. Merry day after boxing day testmas to the best bit of the…

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A cat finally being won over to cricket by the sheer ridiculousness of the Ashes
  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket
  • Conspicuous indifference to Dan Lawrence’s gyrations from a human being

RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A cricket book alongside Australia’s most ridiculous Ashes captain (statue)
  • DEVICE NEWS! (A match report being conspicuously indifferent to cricket in an unusual place)
  • A cricket bat in a Pigbag video

About King Cricket

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Recent Posts

  • The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day Test
  • The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Ashes – the Choose Your Own Adventure book with no winning page
  • Sky Sports has boiled its Ashes coverage down to its purest and greatest form: Mike Atherton and Nasser Hussain standing there talking about what’s gone wrong
  • Still no Shoaib Bashir then. Do you remember when Ben Stokes used to back his spinners?
  • Can England defy the irresistible gravity of right-arm fast-medium in Adelaide? An Ashes third Test preview

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