< 1 minute read At the age of 28. Uninjured. We’ve been here before, haven’t we? James Bruce is going one better than Alex frigging Loudon though. He’s moving into a career ‘in the city’. He’s got a job with ABN Amro Bank, who we’ve never heard of but instantly hate anyway. Where we
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Adam Gilchrist opening the batting and scoring hundreds – still
< 1 minute read It would be tempting to look on this as Adam Gilchrist‘s final international hundred, but the interminable Commonwealth Bank Series is going to provide him with a few more opportunities yet. Australia have played Sri Lanka twice and beaten them twice now, but they still get to play two more
Continue readingPaul Collingwood – all-rounder (in one-day cricket)
2 minute read An excellent all-round performance from Paul Collingwood: 3-43 with the ball and 70 not out off 50 balls. If it were Andrew Flintoff with those figures, everyone’d be giggling, dribbling and getting all rambunctious. They’d be saying ‘bring on the Aussies’ like morons due to the lack of blood supply
Continue readingStephen Fleming retires
2 minute read We really ought to have something to say about Stephen Fleming, but we really don’t. We know that he was a brilliant captain, because we read it about a thousand times. We don’t question that fact, but we’re struggling to think of any evidence. Our first thought was of the
Continue readingMatthew Hoggard and Younis Khan play “spot the statistics nerd”
< 1 minute read ‘Spot the statistics nerd’ isn’t a game you should play in a cricket ground when it’s anything other than completely empty. It’s no challenge at all. A game of ‘spot the fancy dress drunk’ was abandoned later that same day.
Continue readingJesse Ryder’s weight
< 1 minute read Cricinfo’s Statsguru can produce all sorts of valuable reports for you. However, there’s one that it can’t produce, which would be just about priceless to us. It can’t list every single person who’s played international cricket in order of weight, with Warwick Armstrong at the top and Parthiv Patel at
Continue readingHow to get run out
< 1 minute read We nearly laid into England after their limp defeat in the first one-day international, but thought: ‘No. Wait. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt for the minute.’ What a waste of an update. England have only gone and played just as pathetically in the second one-dayer. Feeble total
Continue readingWho are India’s best fast bowlers?
< 1 minute read It’s great to have strength in depth, but surely you want some idea who your best bowlers are. India have had five quick bowlers performing well on this tour alone. The picture’s murkier than our imaginary, more colourful past. Zaheer Khan, RP Singh and Irfan Pathan provided some sort of
Continue readingProfessional cricketers fail to act their age
< 1 minute read A top score of 31 and a third of the team getting run out? A fielding side that dives around after everything like it’s tanked-up on E numbers? It’s under-11s cricket, isn’t it? There was a disappointingly small number of wides and the match wasn’t decided by the one kid
Continue readingMarston’s Pedigree Six
< 1 minute read Marston’s have brought out a new beer because they sponsor England. It’s called Pedigree Six on account of it being 6%. Mmm, boozy. We’re going to drink four ‘Sixes’ in honour of Dimitri Mascarenhas’s four sixes the other day (and with perhaps a nod towards our own alcohol dependence as
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