King Cricket

March 8, 2009 Australia / England

Mitchell Johnson takes England back to the Nineties

< 1 minute readAt one stage South Africa were 6-3, effectively 6-4, as Graeme Smith had been hospitalised. The man who did this was Mitchell Johnson and he forced Jacques Kallis to retire hurt shortly afterwards. Johnson provided bounce, swing and crucially, pace. Mitchell Johnson is a fast bowler. We’d say a ‘genuine’

March 7, 2009 England

Andrew Strauss rules the winter

< 1 minute readAndrew Strauss has hit five hundreds this winter. Having done extensive statistical analysis, we have deemed that ‘acceptable’. We went out to canvass public opinion about the England captain. Malcolm Rathbone, 48, said: “That Strauss is a symbol of all that’s great about Britain. This is the kind of thing

March 7, 2009 Australia

Phil Hughes needs to work on his timing

< 1 minute readPhil Hughes has hit a duck, a fifty and now a hundred. Where does he go next? Well he might want to consider scoring a hundred on a weekday. People do stuff at weekends and his runs might not get as much attention. On a weekday, people come back from

March 6, 2009 Uncategorised

A signed cricket bat in multiple places

2 minute readSend us pictures of cricket bats or other cricket stuff in unusual places to king@kingcricket.co.uk. Miriam writes: Here is a cricket bat in some unusual places. Specifically, here is the cricket bat signed by the Sussex team that I won through King Cricket, from a lingerie website, around my house.

March 5, 2009 England

Owais Shah’s leave

< 1 minute readWhen Owais Shah leaves a ball, it stays left. He plays his most elaborate leaves at relatively full deliveries outside off stump. He doesn’t just get his bat out of the way, he swings it over and then straight down towards the ground in front of him. It’s like he’s

March 4, 2009 England

Samit Patel in ‘unacceptable level of fitness’ shocker

< 1 minute readThe ECB have released a statement announcing that Samit Patel has been dropped from England’s one-day squad. We’ll paraphrase for you: Samit Patel is fat. We’re glad our employers don’t make press releases about the personal flaws that affect our work. It would be disconcerting to open a newspaper and

March 4, 2009 Match report

West Indies v England, Antigua match report

< 1 minute readSend your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk Sam writes: We arranged to meet for an after work drink and watch the third day of the re-arranged test at the ARG at a pub somewhere in north Surrey. I drove from my office to my friend’s office. I turned off the A3

March 3, 2009 Australia

Not so statistically aberrant or statistically abhorrent

< 1 minute readWe’ve long had a problem with Mike Hussey’s ludicrous batting average. Finally, after a long wait, South Africa have started dragging it back towards being something more sensible. Hussey now averages 57.11 after 35 Tests, which is still offensive, but not as offensive as hearing the general public give opinions

March 3, 2009 Pakistan / Sri Lanka

What of tours to Pakistan after attack on Sri Lanka team bus?

< 1 minute readOur initial reaction was to worry that one of the Sri Lankan cricketers had been killed, as if their lives were somehow more important than the lives of the policemen who were escorting them. Such is the way of thinking after something like this. We’ve always felt that cricketers were

March 2, 2009 England / West Indies

Our numbers are bigger than your numbers, so your numbers can kiss our numbers’ arses

< 1 minute readWho was the winner here? Not England. Not West Indies. Not cricket. Not the crowd. After many calculations, we’ve deduced that the winner was, rather unexpectedly, Michael Flatley. Nobody wants that. This match was like watching a dot matrix printer run off sheets and sheets of binary code. Something was