King Cricket

November 25, 2008 Australia

Australia still struggling with their over rate

< 1 minute readRicky Ponting’s been fined again because Australia have been dithering about not bowling their overs. Why it’s happening is such a mystery that Cricket Australia even began a study at the Gabba to monitor every minute of time lost during New Zealands’ innings. During the match, Australia made some efforts

November 24, 2008 Australia

Andrew Symonds hits new low

< 1 minute readHe was in ‘an altercation’ with some guy in a pub. Apparently the other guy, an official in the Aussie armed forces, asked for a picture with Symonds and when the hulking all-rounder said no, threw a couple of punches at him. That’s not the shocking part though. If truth

November 24, 2008 England / India

Stuart Broad’s hair

< 1 minute readStuart Broad appears to have been to a barber’s in India. We’ve deduced this by the fact that he’s now got a nice, sensible side-parting, where before he had an effete, highlighted mullet. If you go to a barber’s in India, you can ask for what you like, but more

November 23, 2008 Australia / New Zealand

Simon Katich plays a nice innings

< 1 minute readPeople who decide man of the match awards are stupid. If there are loads of runs in the match, man of the match adjudicators think the batsmen have all batted really well and pick the guy who scored the most. If it’s a really low-scoring game, they think the bowlers

November 21, 2008 England

Do the Pietersen

< 1 minute readAnd then we realised that we didn’t have to write about England one-day internationals if we didn’t want to. We could just publish pictures like the one on the right instead. It’s a new dance craze. We’re calling it ‘the Pietersen’. It’s like normal dancing, only quite miraculously it’s even

November 20, 2008 Australia / New Zealand

Moving ball! Moving ball!

< 1 minute readJust close your eyes, stick your arse out, wobble your bat at a funny angle and hope. It’ll be fine. This is the technique for dealing with the moving ball. There is absolutely no way that this is the wrong approach. Three people out? Just stick with it. It’ll reap

November 20, 2008 India

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is skipping the match that you’ve waited all year to go and see

< 1 minute readThe kid who sits next to you at that match will have been waiting for a tenth of his life. He’ll find out that his hero isn’t playing and he’ll cry. “Players know their body best and in future more and more players would come out and say that they

November 19, 2008 Australia

Matthew Hayden opens his mouth

< 1 minute readAnd an arse falls out. Someone should tell Matthew Hayden to try and blend into the scenery if he ever sees a tape recorder or a microphone in the vicinity. “When you get to my age, you get to a point where the next 12 months is a long, long

November 19, 2008 County cricket

Ian Blackwell leaves Somerset for Durham

< 1 minute readLast time England toured India, Ian Blackwell was in the one-day side. He did all right as well. As a batsman he’s usually described as ‘rustic’ or somesuch. A variety of adjectives might get used, but they all mean that he’s a fat slogger. He’s a good fat slogger, don’t

November 18, 2008 Australia

Why Andrew Symonds fell out with Michael Clarke

< 1 minute readAndrew Symonds said: “I did something silly with him one night and I suppose I was a bit disrespectful to him.” What does that sound like to you? It sounds like it could only be one thing to us. What act is both silly and disrespectful? Ask yourself that. It