King Cricket

April 10, 2008 County cricket

Rob Key suffers interminable torment at the hands of England’s selectors and coaches

< 1 minute read“I don’t expect tea and cakes with England selectors and coaches.” So don’t go round to their houses. Come to ours instead. We’ll look after you. We’ve got four different sorts of tea and we’ll make sure we get an even greater array of cakes in especially. We don’t really

April 9, 2008 County cricket

Will Jefferson, Nottinghamshire

< 1 minute readA lot of our better updates have been about Will Jefferson. This is partly why we’re watching him for the third season in a row. We’re mainly watching him like a child with no concept of what’s socially acceptable though; with our mouth agape, pointing and saying ‘why has that

April 9, 2008 Bangladesh / Pakistan

A generic ‘Bangladesh lose’ update

< 1 minute readThe opposition’s best batsman, Mohammad Yousuf, scored a hundred. Shahid Afridi hit 27 off 11 balls. Bangladesh’s top scorer was their number ten, Mashrafe Mortaza. Shakib al Hasan was out first ball. There are four more of these fixtures. How are we going to get through them? Does anybody know

April 8, 2008 County cricket / England

Nick Compton, Middlesex

< 1 minute readWith his exotic upbringing, superior air and blonde looks, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Nick Compton wasn’t exactly our cup of tea. And you’d be right. We can’t really remember why we’ve included him now. We remember that there were a number of tricky decisions made when selecting this

April 8, 2008 Regulars

Nimbus being conspicuously indifferent to all manner of cricketing things

< 1 minute readMiriam writes: “I give you: my sister’s new cat, Nimbus. “We showed her your feature in The Wisden Cricketer, but, as you can see, she simply could not be bothered and she made her feelings perfectly clear. “She was also not at all tempted by The Wisden Cricketer cover stories.

April 7, 2008 County cricket / England

Tim Bresnan, Yorkshire

< 1 minute readWe saw Tim Bresnan looking out of his depth for England at Old Trafford for one of his four one-day international matches. The crowd didn’t think much of him. He took 0-58 off eight overs. Fortunately for him, Kabir Ali went for 77 off ten, so he didn’t stand out.

April 7, 2008 India / South Africa

Can Steyn, Ntini and Morkel prey on mental frailties?

2 minute readWe only ask because if they get good at it and develop a taste for it, they’re touring England in the summer. England’s batting line-up is currently supporting the entire sports psychology higher education programme in this country. South African coach, Mickey Arthur, says that Steyn, Ntini and Morkel are

April 5, 2008 County cricket / England

Adil Rashid, Yorkshire

< 1 minute readWas it really as far back as August 2006 that we tipped Adil Rashid? Tipped him to be a great player, that is – we didn’t incline him away from the perpendicular or anything. He was one to watch last year as well and justified his inclusion. There are so

April 4, 2008 India / South Africa

A B de Villiers reckons batting isn’t so hard on this pitch after all

< 1 minute readVehement letter C denier, A B de Villiers, is currently 217 not out, which knocks India’s 76 all out into a cocked hat. A B de Villiers is young and richly talented. Let’s invite him round for tea but then pretend that we all thought he was a vegan. Then,

April 4, 2008 Sri Lanka / West Indies

Typical Fidel Edwards

< 1 minute readBurns in, takes 3-18, tricks you into thinking he’s finally arrived as a fast bowler, then takes 0-32 in his next spell and finally ends up with those same three wickets for about 120. Stupid, round-armed short-arse. Tillakaratne Dilshan’s saving Sri Lanka with 58 not out off 57 balls. We