Why England shouldn’t drop Jade Dernbach

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We’ve spent the day badmouthing Jade Dernbach and we’ve previously written that his ‘variations’ often blind people to his deficiencies, but despite both of those things, we still don’t think England should drop him.

Why? He’s shit

No, he isn’t. Calm down.

Jade may have looked pretty shit while bowling slower ball wides and beamers in his final, crucial over against India, but his face told of a man struggling to keep it together.

So he’s shit then

No. Jesus. What’s with you?

Jade Dernbach isn’t the earl of modern one-day bowling, as he was portrayed during the summer, but nor is he shit. He’s a skilful bowler who hasn’t played in front of tens of thousands of roaring fans in India many times before. That’s a tough experience and he went a bit flaky.

Like any normal person feeling that way, he retreated to what he knows best. For us, this would be some sort of social isolation. For Jade Dernbach, it’s his ‘variations’. They’re his strength. They’re what got him into the England side. No matter that they’re going all over the park – if he hasn’t got them, what has he got?

Did I miss the part about why he shouldn’t be dropped?

Dropping him means starting again. Dernbach should be stronger for the experience, whereas Stuart Meaker still has to walk that particular potholed road. Dropping him means wasting today’s experience.

If England truly think Dernbach has qualities they’re looking for – and they do – then they need to condition his brain so that those qualities are more reliably accessible. He has to have these shit games to learn from them – the learning part is non-negotiable, however.

But what if he costs England the next game?

England are 3-0 down in a five-match one-day series that’s taking place a few months after the World Cup. Be honest, how much do you honestly care about this series?

This is the perfect time to test English one-day players. To them, it’ll feel like they’re playing under immense pressure, but none of their supporters will actually be heartbroken should England go down in a blaze of apparent ineptitude.

England have seven one-dayers in India next winter. It is worth persevering with someone. We’re trusting England’s selectors that Dernbach is that someone.

On the same subject, Craig Kieswetter is a little further into his international career, so we’re not sure to what extent the above also applies to him. All we will say is that his keeping today did smack more of meltdown than inability. Make of that what you will.


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  1. Whatever happened to England’s incipient world domination of cricket?

    Face it, you just can’t cut it outside of your comfort zones (i.e England and now, Australia, since they have finally given up the struggle to pretend that they are not actually by-products of you)

    Saying “who cares?” about a series is a sure sign of denial, by the way.

    And a coping mechanism for your recognition that you really aren’t the new order in cricket you thought you were.

  2. Both of them looked like they lost the plot today. I’m not sure about Kieswetter as in I mean, he’s a cruddy keeper at best but his batting might be worth persisting with for a few months. But of course then you are left with a cruddy keeper.

  3. Dropping Dernbach doesn’t mean starting again when you have Broad and probably Anderson ready to come back in. It seems to me that he’s more competing with Finn (the youngest England bowler to 50 Test wickets) this series, which he has pretty comprehensively lost.

  4. Based on this match, I put forth the “Deep Cower Hypothesis” which states that “in any game Trott top-scores for the English side, a new bowler dies a little while the side loses”.

    Like Avogadro, I do expect some initial challenges, but I am confident this will stand the test of time and hundred years from now men will marvel at my work.

  5. For all the runs that he has conceded over the last few ODIs, I have been mightily impressed with Dernbach.

    He has all the ingredients of being a successful bowler. It is not easy to vary pace as he does with so little change in his action.

    It is just a matter of not overdoing the variation and getting the balance on the stock ball right.

    And let us not forget, England were not in a impregnable situation when he bowled the penultimate over. 17 off 12, with 5 wickets in hand and a set Dhoni out there, is very achievable these days.

    1. There were only one or two wheels on Dernbach’s metaphorical wagon when he was still rolling along into the penultimate over.

      My concern would be with Dernbach’s earlier late overs. (I’ve just reread that sentence and luv it!).

      And Cook should have adjusted a little earlier – letting Dernbach take an unused over home and bowling Finn/Bresnan overs 49 & 50.

      We’ve discussed this before, Dernbach has an unconvincing first name and had very unconvincing hair for too long. These well-documented shortcomings are now coming home to roost.

  6. Nobody has pointed out that he simply needs to move forward and execute his skill set on a more consistent basis to leverage a higher success ratio for the England brand in the sub continental cricertainment-sphere.

  7. Dernbach should be dropped, because I don’t like him. I realise this is not a balanced, rational argument, but I’m on holiday and I have to do rational when I’m at work so sod it. I also don’t like trott much, so he should be dropped from one dayers no matter how many runs he scores.

  8. I’m still unsure as to why Kieswetter keeps getting picked. He’s supposed to add impetus at the top of the order but he frequently gets bogged down as he can’t rotate the strike and seems scared to hit his big shots – which are his only weapon. His keeping is average at best.

    On a similar theme, have India been granted special dispensation from the ICC to not open with their wicketkeeper? Maybe England should apply for that…

    1. Ah, you see India ARE opening with a wicketkeeper – Parthiv Patel. He just isn’t keeping wicket.

  9. How is Bairstow’s keeping? If he’s in the side anyway let him do that and let Kieswetter concentrate on batting.

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