England World Cup heroes update

Mike Yardy's body hangs limply from his flying Superman fist

We named our England heroes for the World Cup before it had started. We remember now that cricketing heroism is more about what you do on the pitch than the shape of your head.

That said, the man named on the basis of head shape, Tim Bresnan, has been something of a success. He’s taken wickets and often looked England’s best bowler, particularly against India. Maybe phrenology is the way forward.

Mike Yardy is the other hero who’s actually played. While he could maybe have bolstered his figures had he played against the Netherlands, it now seems like his one-day career may have run its course. There always seemed to be an England policy of playing Yardy as a bowler for as long as they could get away with it, in which case, shame on them for overplaying him before the tournament. He could have been their secret tool.

Luke Wright’s not been seen. The High-Visibility Tabard of England Squad Membership must be so firmly affixed to his torso that he cannot be picked lest he be mistaken for a steward while fielding on the boundary.

As for James Tredwell, in naming these England heroes, we wrote:

“Yes, he is in the squad. You’d probably forgotten.”

We stand by that.

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7 Appeals

  1. What is your team choice for tomorrow? Hobsons choice really and it shouldn’t be. Why are so many talented people not in the squad?

    Don’t I remember baby Cooke and Bopara creaming hundreds off Australia in an OD tour game? Can’t Cooke open the batting with Strauss?

    Re the comments on part 1 of your heroes piece -Can’t the bowlers remind Strauss that they would like a turn to bowl? Is that not done? I thought they were all supposed to be captains. Jimmy especially.
    I wish I could switch off minding about England.

  2. Is that a fig leaf on the little red person you have assigned me?

  3. There’s a fair chance that Englands camapign could be euthanised by the Windies tonight. I know Swann bowled well at Chennai but the Windies have Big (Bad) Benn.

    • Nothing humane or painless about it, wolf. Not from where we’re sitting.

      The wonderful thing about an England win, of course, would be the strange possibility of any combination of three from the four teams still in the mix being able to go through.

      Group B rocks. Group A sucks. End of.

  4. I suddenly, as of March 17th, remember who James Tredwell is!
    I bet the Windies will as well 😀

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