Send your pictures of cricket bats and other cricket stuff in unusual places to firstname.lastname@example.org. Feel free to put the cricket thing in the unusual place yourself. (In fact we actively encourage it – we don’t get anywhere near enough of those ones.)
The sight of a rock band manager. The sound of a telly being smashed. The smell of linseed oil.
Face facts: in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
If that kind of an environment sounds too much for you, maybe you should just go and work in a haberdasher or a chapeau shop.
How much more good could this submission be? The answer is none. None more good.
Can whoever suggested the cricket bat in Spinal Tap please let us know? The relevant line from our notes appears to have disappeared. The authorities said best leave the mystery unsolved, but we’d like to know so we can thank you.