A ‘totemistic’ cricket bat in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock

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Send your pictures of cricket bats and other cricket stuff in unusual places to king@kingcricket.co.uk. Feel free to put the cricket thing in the unusual place yourself. (In fact we actively encourage it – we don’t get anywhere near enough of those ones.)

The sight of a rock band manager. The sound of a telly being smashed. The smell of linseed oil.

Face facts: in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.

If that kind of an environment sounds too much for you, maybe you should just go and work in a haberdasher or a chapeau shop.

How much more good could this submission be? The answer is none. None more good.

Can whoever suggested the cricket bat in Spinal Tap please let us know? The relevant line from our notes appears to have disappeared. The authorities said best leave the mystery unsolved, but we’d like to know so we can thank you.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. This is the first time I’ve sort of followed the IPL (by that I mean I know who is in the final). And I have to say, spot on, Yer Maj.

      1. Well anyone could fault him, if they wanted to. No law says in black and white that you can’t. So sure, fault him till you’re blue in the face, but it’s only because you’re green with envy about how accurate he is and now you’re seeing red about it. Or at least, fuchsia.

        Sidenote: the colour fuchsia is named after the herbalist Leonhart Fuchs, via the flower Fuchsia – named in honour of him, though it was only discovered over a century after his death. How many other colours are named after people? Getting a whole colour named after you must be a great honour indeed, like a leprechaun granting you rule over a slice of the rainbow, which sadly must also be why Dulux refuse to allow me to paint my house bailoutia.

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