< 1 minute read It’s his last Test, so we’re going back to calling him ‘Andy’. That’s what he always used to be, before the media started calling him ‘Andrew’ and then ‘Freddie’. Andy is a good, functional name. It gets the job done. It’s the kind of name you’d be happy to buy
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Joe Denly earmarked for summat
< 1 minute read Joe Denly has been picked in England’s Fewer Overs squads for the arse end of the summer. This is pretty good. We get the impression England’s selectors have identified him as an attacking opening batsman who’s actually an opening batsman and not just a sloggy all-rounder who has a bit
Continue readingResponse to England’s fifth Ashes Test squad
< 1 minute read Jonathan Trott, who is being dropped into a deep end infested with piranhas from a great height for his debut, said: “I’m chuffed.” Mark Ramprakash, writing on Twitter, (genuinely) said: “Defecating in a package to send to Geoff Miller.” Quite bizarrely, Trott seemed to echo Ramps’ thoughts when speaking about
Continue readingIs the Australian team better?
< 1 minute read Certainly Australian cricket is better. Look at the players that aren’t even playing: Phil Jaques, Test average 47; Brad Hodge, Test average 56; David Hussey, first-class average 55. That short list can quite easily be extended. The English system produces the odd exceptional player and that’s being generous – more
Continue readingRob Key’s sanguine outlook
< 1 minute read Rob Key’s greatest strength is his don’t-give-a-toss-ishness. It’s the main reason we originally warmed to him, back in the winter of 2002. It’s also why he makes a great captain. We know what you’re thinking: what about that bat-flinging hissy fit on Twenty20 finals day in 2007? That was a
Continue readingFlimsy headline of the week
< 1 minute read From the BBC: “Ramprakash in England contention”. How have they deduced that this is the case? Because when asked about the likelihood of Ramprakash’s selection, England national selector, Geoff Miller, said: “I’m not ruling anybody out.” We’d have gone with “Geoff Capes in England contention” on the grounds that he
Continue readingThe Headingley Test probably didn’t happen
< 1 minute read We sometimes have conversations with friends which go something like this: Us: I was in the pub the other day and I had a terrible pint. I thought there was something wrong with it so I asked the barman to change it. He tasted it and said it was fine,
Continue readingEngland cricketers’ heads drop
< 1 minute read The difference between England and Australia so far is that when Australia have been down, they’ve fought like bastards. Even when they lost, they still managed 406 in the fourth innings. England fought in the first Test, but their decline since the middle of the third Test is unstoppable. The
Continue readingEngland 102 all out
< 1 minute read This kind of performance begs an obvious question: angry or amazed? They say that you can never tell how good or bad a batting performance is until both sides have batted. That’s not strictly true now, is it?
Continue readingJonathan Trott of Warwickshire and England
< 1 minute read England’s selectors have sprung a slight surprise in picking Warwickshire’s Jonathan Trott. We’ll say two things: Trott has scored a lorryload of runs on a pretty flat Edgbaston pitch (Jeetan Patel and Rikki Clarke have hit hundreds there this year). Test cricket is played on pretty flat pitches these days.
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