Things getting a bit fast-medium is pretty much our worst nightmare when it comes to watching England. We might start using the phrase in other contexts.
“How was dinner?”
“It was… fine…”
“Fine? What does ‘fine’ mean?”
“Well, you know. It was just…”
“What? It was just what?”
“It was just a bit… fast-medium…”
You know the sort of day. The pitch is flat. England’s three or four right-arm swing/seam bowlers start the day bowling at about 85mph and by the evening session, having endured an enormous partnership, they’re bowling exactly the same deliveries that didn’t work in the morning only 5-10mph slower.
The spinner is similarly ineffectual (you should always pick a spinner) but for some reason the captain doesn’t turn to the variety offered by part-timers until there’s already a 300-run partnership and 500 on the board.
Supporters yearn for a leg-spinner. They yearn for a fast bowler. It’s just not happening. England have ended up looking a bit fast-medium.
This was originally published in 2013, but we’ve rewritten it slightly because of how frequently we find ourself linking back to it.