The Hundred Finals 2022 match report

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Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk. We’re only really interested in your own experience, so if it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. (But if it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.)

Daisy writes…

The headline picture was actually taken by Ged on a reconnaissance mission to The Hundred at Lord’s that Tuesday. Beautiful sunset that evening, but a tad too much cricket in the photograph.

This finals day we had four different DJs – one from each of the finalist’s grounds. As luck would have it, both of the DJs for the women’s final were women and both of the DJs for the men’s final were men.

There was a sound-off between competing DJs ahead of (and during) each match. This pitted Abbie McCarthy of the Oval Invincibles against Steph Nieuwenhuys of Southern Brave. Ged and I both thought that Steph won that sound off. 

Then things got really exciting. I even saw a cameraman spontaneously combust. “Dozens of people, (mostly drummers, cameramen and wicketkeepers), spontaneously combust each year. It’s just not widely reported,” said Ged.

Between matches, we took a stroll, missing Bastille on stage, but we did hear them. It sounded like “dad rock” to us – nowhere near as cool as Jax Jones last year.

On our return, one of the grumpy pair of men in front of us – Ged called them Statler & Waldorf –  was whingeing about his wet trousers (goodness knows how), then the same old git got clumped on the head by a passer-by with a bottle of water, kicking off a mini-rant.

I tried not to laugh. Here’s a picture of Ged’s cantankerous old git face for KC readers’ benefit.

Ged has good reason to show that face. He’s just received a card from London Transport and a “shuv it up yer arse” message from the NHS in the post.

Then the men’s match. Rohshan Poyser of the Manchester Originals against Charlie Burley of the Trent Rockets. 

On music scene paper, we’d have expected Manchester to win hands down. But Charlie launched sounds with far more energy and danceability than Rohshan. We wondered whether drum ’n’ bass is still an “in-ting”, but still we and others in the pavilion, (mostly under 16s), danced. 

Big ups to Charlie for getting a young animated drum ’n’ bass crew up on stage with him. But why weren’t Ged and I invited?

DON'T BE LIKE GATT!

Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.

Coincidence?

Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?

5 comments

  1. They say a sign of getting old is that the world seems to move faster. Given the recent increase in the pace with which match reports are being posted to this website, I am starting to feel like I might soon be due a discounted transport pass myself….

  2. Wow. What a report. So much to admire.

    Let’s start with Ged’s Oyster card photo. Has a photo ever said “I know I have to do this but I really don’t want to” better than that one. It’s a masterpiece of contempt for the way the world works these days.

    And bowel cancer screening – a first time visitor to these pages I think. Just enjoy it, Ged. Watch this clip, appreciate the subtle brilliance of the writing, and enjoy it.

    One word of warning, don’t do what I did. The stuff they give you the day before to, er… clear the passage, so to speak, works via reverse osmosis. That is, it draws water from your body to irrigate the channel. In doing so it dehydrates you, which in turn lowers your blood pressure. That’s how I found myself lying on the bathroom floor at three in the morning next to a my-head-sized hole in the door. The nurses the following day were as sympathetic as it is possible for nurses to be.

  3. The great thing about writing a match report about the hundred (small h intentional) is that nobody wants to hear about the cricket anyway. It is secondary to the Experience.

  4. Many thanks to the several King Cricket readers (and writers) who sent me private anniversary felicitations. I have been quite overwhelmed by the response.

    Thanks in particular to Bert for your kind words. Daisy might chime in with thanks too when (or if ever) she stops laughing.

    Please rest assured, everyone, that the screening invitation is simply related to a standard DIY kit – nothing so comprehensive and invasive as Bert’s words and links suggest. I am proposing to decline the kind invitation on this occasion.

    You might also rest assured that, should I ever (for whatever reason) decide to subject myself to such screening (or similar) – KC readers will be among the last to know. Nothing personal – I just look on KC-reading as (quite often) breakfast activity and hate the thought of spoiling anyone else’s messing arrangements.

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