< 1 minute readHe is both a cad and a bounder and you should beware his dandy ways. We’d say that Jade was a girl’s name if it were, in fact, a name at all. 24 first-class wickets at 40.62 and somehow he bowled Rob Key first ball. Some facts about Jade Dernbach:
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Tim Bresnan crosses the line
< 1 minute readIt’s okay – it’s a good line. It’s the line you have to cross to get written about on King Cricket. Tim Bresnan has been having one of those quietly productive seasons in which our Ones To Watch seem to specialise. Despite having taken more wickets than anyone else in
Continue readingSimon Jones mops up the tail
< 1 minute readGive Simon Jones a mop and present him with a flexible rear appendage and he will GET TO WORK. Jones took 5-30 against Leicestershire yesterday, clean bowling eight, nine and ten to finish the innings. It’s not the first time this season he’s bulked up the wickets column by polishing
Continue readingGraham Napier’s ‘mensely bad timing
< 1 minute readThis is what we’re pommily whinging about. Graham Napier hit ‘mense amounts of runs off negligible balls due to a ‘mense number of sixes. Yet where’s our report? Napier’s innings ended during the beer hours and we can’t be expected to remain coherent at that time. How much more ‘mensely
Continue readingOnce upon a time Joe Denly did something good
< 1 minute readThree problems with the Twenty20 Cup. (1) While the matches are at a great time for supporters, they’re at a rubbish time for people writing about them because they finish during the beer hours. (2) There are about ten matches a day and we quite simply don’t have ten pieces
Continue readingLancashire Lemurs
< 1 minute readWe’re going to the Twenty20 match on Friday, then we’re away for a week. As usual we’ve written stuff in advance, so you probably won’t notice or care that we’re gone. Two things: (1) When we say we’re not going to be here – we’re not going to be here.
Continue readingRavi Bopara hits a one-day double hundred
< 1 minute readTest duck-scoring shortarse with a point to prove, Ravi Bopara, proved his point weeks ago. Ravi’s now had his point embossed on his batting glove and his systematically punching everyone in the face with it. If you don’t know that Ravi Bopara is serious about playing for England, you’ll see
Continue readingSteve Harmison takes a hat trick
< 1 minute readLolloping ganglatron of mental fragility, Steve Harmison, took a hat-trick against champions Sussex over the weekend. We’re more interested in his opening spell during Sussex’s first innings though, where at one point he’d taken 2-7 off 11 overs. Moping about in county cricket in a state of permanent ill-temper will
Continue readingSimon Jones is fit and firing
< 1 minute readYou’ve got to write these updates when you’ve the chance. We’re a bit worried because we wrote this on Sunday. 24 hours is an eternity when you’re talking about the fitness of Simon Jones. We’ll plough on regardless though. Thus far in the County Championship, Simon Jones has taken 5-92,
Continue readingJoe Denly hits a fourth innings hundred
< 1 minute readWhile largely overshadowed by Rob Key‘s silky 26, Joe Denly‘s 149 was still a weighty contribution towards a Kent total of 250. Kent lost, but you can’t really blame No Pants for that. Has anyone got any information on that nickname’s origins yet? If you do know and it’s a
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