< 1 minute readOn the one hand, he’s a spin bowler with a really mediocre record and people are lining up to, er… not know who he is – which is quite endearing. On the other hand, he’s Australian, which isn’t endearing. It’s a quandary and no mistake. Former Aussie spinner, Ashley Mallett,
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Darren Gough retires
2 minute readThere’ll be a bit of Twenty20 next year, but basically this is it. This is as close to a definitive goodbye as he’ll give us. The very reason why Darren Gough didn’t go out in a blaze of glory is the very reason why he deserved to do so. He
Continue readingSelf-effacing Hayden looks forward to India tour
< 1 minute readMatthew Hayden is the kind of man who looks in the mirror and smiles at what he sees. “Having played over there and played well over there, I think I’m going to be the obvious target.” Really he should look in the mirror and immediately burst into tears before punching
Continue readingGlen Chapple tries to deny Lancashire’s batsmen division two
2 minute readDon’t think for one minute that we don’t like the wisened pile of freckles that is Glen Chapple. We always moan about Lancashire’s ageing medium-pace all-rounders, but the truth is we’ve nothing against either Chapple or Dominic Cork. It’s just that having both of them clogs the side for younger
Continue readingWhy Lancashire have earned relegation
2 minute readLancashire’s bowling has been acceptable, if little more than that. Lancashire’s batting has been as embarrassing as the thought of Henry Blofeld calling someone a ‘dude’. We’ve done the statistics about Lancashire’s batsmen already, but here are some updates. Mal Loye had previously scored 103 runs from 12 innings –
Continue readingAn influence on Lancashire’s batting
< 1 minute readWe’ve made an unbelievable discovery. The F5 key on our keyboard is a shortcut that leads to the fall of a Lancashire wicket. Go and look at the scorecard for their current match and give it a go yourselves. See if you too have the power. We have honestly just
Continue readingOliver Newby: our new favourite Lancashire player
< 1 minute readLancsTV do one minute interviews with the players. Oliver Newby was interviewed by Mal Loye. One question was: ‘What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in cricket?’ “Slept with Mal Loye and Gareth Cross.” Other highlights include: ‘What’s the worst thing you ever did at school?’ “I once came
Continue readingSymonds: Pick me – I’m not a knob now
< 1 minute readEver since he was sent home from Australia’s one-day series against Bangladesh, speculation has been rife about Andrew Symonds. Specifically, that speculation has centred on exactly what kind of aquatic creature molested him as a child. Some say it was a turbot, some say a merman. Taken as a whole,
Continue readingWhen is a country too dangerous to tour?
2 minute readTim May, chief executive of the Federation of International Cricketers Associations, explains why Australia are likely to tour India, but wouldn’t visit Pakistan (like usual) for the Champions Trophy: “Pakistan has had 66 suicide bombings within its country over the past 12 months with over 3,000 people killed and 17
Continue readingJesse Ryder’s back
< 1 minute readIs broad and pudgy and malleable like plasticine. It’s an amorphous, wobbling built-in cushion so he can lie down anywhere and feel comfortable. It’s also a trap. When Jesse Ryder needs to take all that weight off his feet, he plonks himself down and leans into his back’s exquisitely welcoming
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