King Cricket

August 16, 2009 County cricket / England

Response to England’s fifth Ashes Test squad

< 1 minute readJonathan Trott, who is being dropped into a deep end infested with piranhas from a great height for his debut, said: “I’m chuffed.” Mark Ramprakash, writing on Twitter, (genuinely) said: “Defecating in a package to send to Geoff Miller.” Quite bizarrely, Trott seemed to echo Ramps’ thoughts when speaking about

August 15, 2009 County cricket / Extras

Chris Adams commentating on Twenty20 Finals Day

< 1 minute readWe’re not convinced. “He’s doing exactly what it says on the tin. Bowling straight; wicket to wicket.” You can’t use ‘does what it says on the tin’ wherever you like. There are rules. You can’t say: “I’m doing exactly what it says on the tin: I’m stopping in with a

August 14, 2009 Match report

Fourth 2009 Ashes Test match report

2 minute readSW writes: It was agreed that The Australian and myself would enjoy a weekend of camping up at Peterborough with our acquaintance Price and some other lycra-clad rowing folk. There was rumour of naked rowing, pole climbing and general debauchery being on the cards, so this seemed like a good

August 13, 2009 Australia / England

Is the Australian team better?

< 1 minute readCertainly Australian cricket is better. Look at the players that aren’t even playing: Phil Jaques, Test average 47; Brad Hodge, Test average 56; David Hussey, first-class average 55. That short list can quite easily be extended. The English system produces the odd exceptional player and that’s being generous – more

August 12, 2009 County cricket / England

Rob Key’s sanguine outlook

< 1 minute readRob Key’s greatest strength is his don’t-give-a-toss-ishness. It’s the main reason we originally warmed to him, back in the winter of 2002. It’s also why he makes a great captain. We know what you’re thinking: what about that bat-flinging hissy fit on Twenty20 finals day in 2007? That was a

August 12, 2009 Uncategorised

Man dresses as cowboy for money

< 1 minute readIt’s Dwayne Smith and it’s one of the half-hourly Mongoose cricket bat press releases we receive. We have a friend who had to be photographed as a cowboy once. We won’t say why. Not because it’s sinister, but because it sounds sinister if we leave the reason to your imagination.

August 11, 2009 Match report

Old Trafford Twenty20 match report

3 minute readMahinda writes: It was a grey day in Manchestie when my motley crew headed to Old Trafford for an evening’s Twenty20 – Lankyshire versus Zummerrrrrrzet in a T20 Cup quarter-final. I’d organised a work-subsidised social. Workmate Andy had even brought his mother and two of his daughters along. We’d all

August 10, 2009 Australia

What has Luke Pomersbach done?

< 1 minute readRemember Luke Pomersbach? Having been rewarded so handsomely for his piss-artistry 18 months ago, he’s decided that getting wankered is the way forward. After a night drinking the finest wines known to humanity (maybe), Luke Pomersbach hopped into his Toyota Prado and set off. Having ploughed into the back of

August 10, 2009 County cricket / England

Flimsy headline of the week

< 1 minute readFrom the BBC: “Ramprakash in England contention”. How have they deduced that this is the case? Because when asked about the likelihood of Ramprakash’s selection, England national selector, Geoff Miller, said: “I’m not ruling anybody out.” We’d have gone with “Geoff Capes in England contention” on the grounds that he

August 9, 2009 England

The Headingley Test probably didn’t happen

< 1 minute readWe sometimes have conversations with friends which go something like this: Us: I was in the pub the other day and I had a terrible pint. I thought there was something wrong with it so I asked the barman to change it. He tasted it and said it was fine,