King Cricket

September 16, 2008 Australia

Symonds: Pick me – I’m not a knob now

< 1 minute readEver since he was sent home from Australia’s one-day series against Bangladesh, speculation has been rife about Andrew Symonds. Specifically, that speculation has centred on exactly what kind of aquatic creature molested him as a child. Some say it was a turbot, some say a merman. Taken as a whole,

When is a country too dangerous to tour?

2 minute readTim May, chief executive of the Federation of International Cricketers Associations, explains why Australia are likely to tour India, but wouldn’t visit Pakistan (like usual) for the Champions Trophy: “Pakistan has had 66 suicide bombings within its country over the past 12 months with over 3,000 people killed and 17

September 15, 2008 New Zealand

Jesse Ryder’s back

< 1 minute readIs broad and pudgy and malleable like plasticine. It’s an amorphous, wobbling built-in cushion so he can lie down anywhere and feel comfortable. It’s also a trap. When Jesse Ryder needs to take all that weight off his feet, he plonks himself down and leans into his back’s exquisitely welcoming

September 13, 2008 Australia

Andrew Symonds: tool

< 1 minute readWe’ve long suspected Andrew Symonds of being a five-year-old trapped in the body of a hirsute cow. That opinion is being reinforced of late. From The Australian: “Stung $3000 for missing the team bus, he became what one person described as “the rule Nazi” and would ensure he was on

September 12, 2008 Australia

Who the hell is Jason Krejza?

< 1 minute readAustralia have called up an off-spinner called Jason Krejza as support for Bryce McGain in the upcoming Test series against India. How Australia’s spin resources have – well – evaporated. Even McGain (who we won’t say a word against) will be a debutant. Other Australian spinners we know: Dan Cullen,

September 12, 2008 Regulars

Laurence embraces the modern way

2 minute readModern sides bat right down to number eight and as no-one else is up to the task, I step up. It’s deep into our innings before I am called upon. The bowlers will be flagging by now. I will take advantage. The time has come for Laurence Elderbrook to take

September 11, 2008 England / Regulars

Botham flouts health and safety regulations

< 1 minute readIs that suitable footwear? No. Should he be removing his hard hat? No. Also, it’s generally accepted that a high-visibility tabard be worn over the top of ordinary clothing so that you can easily be seen. Botham is wearing high-visibility clothing, but has concealed its garish, eye-catching qualities beneath a

September 10, 2008 Match report

England v South Africa at the Oval – a match report

2 minute readBefore you read this, we’d just like to make one thing abundantly clear about the sickening content that follows. King Cricket in no way encourages you to contact, meet or socialise with other readers of the site as it flies in the face of our whole philosophy. In fact, it’s

September 10, 2008 Cricket computer games | reviews, previews and downloads | PC, Xbox 360, PS2, PS3, Wii

Cricket Life 1 update

< 1 minute readThose of you with elephantine memories may be wondering whether Cricket Life‘s out yet. It’s not. However, their website has been updated with a fantastic picture of Mike Hussey. “Okay, Mike. If you could just try and look a bit more like a retarded cow then that’d be great. “Okay,

September 9, 2008 England

England’s Stanford Twenty20 squad

< 1 minute readWe’ve been waiting for the announcement of England’s Stanford squad with the strange notion that we’d have something to say about it. Other than bemoaning the absence of Ian Austin, Chris Tavaré and Alan Igglesden, we’ve nothing. The squad’s who you think it is and the same players make up