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Category: News

August 12, 2015 Australia / England

Why has no-one made fun of Darren Lehmann for that ‘hiccup’ comment?

< 1 minute readThe thing about hiccups is that they almost always come as a plural. You might cough once, you can get away with a single sneeze, but hiccups arrive en masse. As such, Darren Lehmann’s description of the Cardiff Test as ‘a minor hiccup’ seems entirely fitting. Far from being symptomatic

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August 10, 2015 England

Ben Stokes can swing a cricket ball and also a bat, but we don’t need to be told that he isn’t Botham or Flintoff

2 minute read“We don’t want to say he’s going to be the next Botham, or the next Flintoff,” said Trevor Bayliss. England’s coach then veered away from an already painfully familiar statement somewhat by adding: “He’ll be the next Ben Stokes” – as if we’ve had one already. Every time anyone says

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August 8, 2015 Australia / England

Did England just win the 2015 Ashes?

< 1 minute readThey completely did. They fully did. What do you make of that? And as a bonus talking point, Michael Clarke seems likely to retire at the end of the series. We presume he’s only waiting that long lest Steven Smith feel the pressure to follow suit immediately after leading the

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August 8, 2015 Australia

David Warner’s short-armed jab

2 minute readNot the one from Walkabout, but the weird, pathetic quasi-pull shot he plays when he gets a short ball with two men on the fence. The one that’s twice cost him his wicket in this series and which near enough got him out on the two or three other occasions

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August 7, 2015 Australia / England

A homogenous batting line-up with the same strengths and weaknesses

3 minute readThis is the closest representation of Australia’s innings we can find. But why? Why would men whose job it is to bat – and who have been selected because they are supposedly the best at that task – repeatedly try and edge balls that weren’t going on to hit the

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August 6, 2015 Australia / England

Stuart Broad tears Australia a new one

< 1 minute readEarly wickets are always key and with his 19th delivery, Stuart Broad struck. Of course he already had four wickets by that point and it didn’t take him too much longer to pick up another three. Was it a rain delay? Were these actually just highlights? No, because rain delays

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August 5, 2015 England

Bread in the toaster, kettle on and OH DEAR LORD NO!

2 minute readYou can run out of some foods without too much of a problem. You can always use a different kind of vinegar. You can make that marinade without oregano. Chilli con carne without kidney beans is perfectly acceptable. On the other hand, playing a Test match without James Anderon is

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July 31, 2015 Australia / England

The latest Ian Bell update has been released and it’s full of bugs and new features

< 1 minute readWe’re way past Ian Bell 2.0. Being as he’s 33 and batting at three, we’re going to call this incarnation Ian Bell 33.3. Hopefully that won’t prove to be its batting average. Most of the previous Ian Bells have looked solid only to get out in infuriating fashion when you

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July 30, 2015 Australia / England

Mitchell Johnson rocks England, Steven Finn rolls Australia

2 minute readOnce again, Mitchell Johnson rocked England. He took 2-66. (Wickets taken via bouncers count double, it seems.) After that, it was back to England dismissing clueless Australian batsmen, which was really rather delightful. This Test has brought back memories of the magical folding Australia side of a few years ago.

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July 29, 2015 Australia / England

James Anderson dismisses Australia’s motley crew

2 minute readWe’re playing squash tonight. One thing you notice with squash is that the ball’s momentum doesn’t always carry it in the same direction. Quite often it alters course quite markedly upon contact with what is known as ‘the wall’. The momentum in this Ashes series is similar, it would seem.

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Latest comments

  1. Ballarat Bob on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 30, 2025

    Pitch was a bit too paced but it's a bit of a stretch to say it forced international test cricketers…

  2. Buttface on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 29, 2025

    Yeah, well, that was that I suppose. Was so unimpressed that it's taken me to what would have been the…

  3. Ged Ladd on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 27, 2025

    I hope you’re not suggesting that Geoffrey’s mum could do better than that with a stick of rhubarb, Tim.

  4. King Cricket on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 27, 2025

    Merry Day After Boxing Day Testmas, JJE!

  5. Aditya on The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day TestDecember 27, 2025

    I know it’s hard, with finances dictating everything, but I wish we could have Boxing Day tests in Australia, South…

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A cat finally being won over to cricket by the sheer ridiculousness of the Ashes
  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket
  • Conspicuous indifference to Dan Lawrence’s gyrations from a human being

RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A cricket book alongside Australia’s most ridiculous Ashes captain (statue)
  • DEVICE NEWS! (A match report being conspicuously indifferent to cricket in an unusual place)
  • A cricket bat in a Pigbag video

About King Cricket

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Recent Posts

  • The 2025 Festivus holding page: The Boxing Day Test
  • The Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Ashes – the Choose Your Own Adventure book with no winning page
  • Sky Sports has boiled its Ashes coverage down to its purest and greatest form: Mike Atherton and Nasser Hussain standing there talking about what’s gone wrong
  • Still no Shoaib Bashir then. Do you remember when Ben Stokes used to back his spinners?
  • Can England defy the irresistible gravity of right-arm fast-medium in Adelaide? An Ashes third Test preview

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