< 1 minute read The BBC go with “Strauss makes Ashes rallying call”. England’s captain is geeing up the troops with fist-pumping lines such as: “You have to earn the right to be on top in a match and that is why what we did at Headingley was a bit of shocker. We have
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Andy Flintoff reinstated as Hero Number One
< 1 minute read It’s his last Test, so we’re going back to calling him ‘Andy’. That’s what he always used to be, before the media started calling him ‘Andrew’ and then ‘Freddie’. Andy is a good, functional name. It gets the job done. It’s the kind of name you’d be happy to buy
Continue readingSupporting an Australian who’s seemingly willing to defect
< 1 minute read The Barmy Army are playing Australia’s Fanatics tomorrow. Among the Barmy Army team is, somewhat inexplicably, The Australian, who seems destined to be ‘The Australian’ even when involved in a cricket match featuring a whole team of his kinsmen. You can sponsor him and implicitly condone his defection here. Money
Continue readingRob Key’s sanguine outlook
< 1 minute read Rob Key’s greatest strength is his don’t-give-a-toss-ishness. It’s the main reason we originally warmed to him, back in the winter of 2002. It’s also why he makes a great captain. We know what you’re thinking: what about that bat-flinging hissy fit on Twenty20 finals day in 2007? That was a
Continue readingThe Headingley Test probably didn’t happen
< 1 minute read We sometimes have conversations with friends which go something like this: Us: I was in the pub the other day and I had a terrible pint. I thought there was something wrong with it so I asked the barman to change it. He tasted it and said it was fine,
Continue readingEngland cricketers’ heads drop
< 1 minute read The difference between England and Australia so far is that when Australia have been down, they’ve fought like bastards. Even when they lost, they still managed 406 in the fourth innings. England fought in the first Test, but their decline since the middle of the third Test is unstoppable. The
Continue readingEngland 102 all out
< 1 minute read This kind of performance begs an obvious question: angry or amazed? They say that you can never tell how good or bad a batting performance is until both sides have batted. That’s not strictly true now, is it?
Continue readingBooing Ricky Ponting
< 1 minute read Giles Clarke says England fans shouldn’t boo Ricky Ponting. He thinks it shows a lack of respect for a great batsman. He thinks it’s offensive. Well, you can happily discard Giles Clarke and his comments. Giles Clarke likes being photographed next to a big box of money. Not only that,
Continue readingBack to back Tests
< 1 minute read Technically all the players’ injuries are unrelated to playing back to back Tests, because they’ve not actually played the second one yet. We don’t care. We’re blaming the scheduling because we hate back to back Tests. There’s also the fact that for half this match, people will be saying ‘back
Continue readingPeter Siddle runs in all day
< 1 minute read This seems to be Peter Siddle’s greatest strength in the eyes of his team mates. When asked about their bowling attack, Australian players refer to Johnson’s speed, Hilfenhaus’s swing, Clark’s control and Siddle’s ability to run in all day. You don’t want bowlers to run in all day. You want
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